Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney
by Berserker88
Summary: Part of the "What If" collaboration project. When a murder at the Mystic Spring Oasis threatens an innocent, though not particularly bright yak, Nick and Finnick of the Wilde Crimes Law Offices are on the case! They're not exactly confident, or competent, or even confidants, but somehow they will find a way, unless feared prosecutor Judy Hopps has anything to say about that.
1. The Wilde Guess

**Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney**

 **Chapter 1: The Wilde Guess**

 **Written by Berserker88**

 **Edited by Mind Jack**

 **Cover art by Quirky Middle-child**

* * *

"Okay, it's official. I hate lawyers."

Nick stormed out of the chief's office in a huff, quickly followed by Judy. Neither of them were in a particularly good mood after what just happened, so it was a good thing they had been given the rest of the day off to cool down. "We work our tails off chasing down 'Rosco the Rascal', then some suit comes in and gets him off on a technicality! How's _that_ for making the world a better place, Fluff?"

Not very good. She hadn't felt this useless at her job since getting out of parking duty, but at least traffic citations tended to stick. "He'll slip up again. Guys like that don't stay out of trouble for long." It was a pitiful attempt to cheer herself up.

It didn't work on Nick either. "Sure, if he doesn't go off the grid like any _smart_ criminal would do. But maybe you're right. Maybe he'll go burn down a few more homes, ruin a few more lives, to give us another crack at him. Any way you look at it, we lost this one."

She couldn't argue that. Judy just sighed as they exited the precinct. "I'm really glad to be on _this_ side of the legal system sometimes."

"I hear ya, Carrots. If you came to me at that press conference with an application to law school, I would have thrown it back in your face long before your sordid little speech."

This was too good of an opportunity to pass up. "I'm surprised to hear that," she said, smirking up at him. "With all that slyness and charisma, I think you'd make a _great_ lawyer."

She'd once said something similar about him being a cop. But he didn't even dignify _this_ with words, just pointed a finger to his throat and made a loud, gagging sound. Poking fun at Nick, as it turned out, did a much better job of brightening her mood. "Come on, there are good lawyers too, you know," the rabbit giggled.

"Like dead ones?"

"Like ones who defend those who can't defend themselves, fight to overturn false accusations and protect the innocent." She got that old starstruck look in her eyes, the same kind she always got when she talked about her ideals. " _That's_ the kind of lawyer I would want to be."

Nick snorted. "No way. I've seen you in the interrogation room, Hopps. You'd be a prosecutor for sure."

The look vanished. Though she had to admit, with a passion for justice and desire to punish the guilty, she could go either way. "Hmm, maybe. What about you, Nick? Defense or prosecution?"

"Yeah, I'm still in the 'better off dead' camp actually."

"Oh, _really?"_ With a speed befitting of her species, she was suddenly standing right in front of him, grinning deviously. "Maybe we should see what PIXAR has to say about that?"

His eyes widened as Judy took off, the fox quickly chasing after her in pursuit. "Carrots, no! I am putting my foot down on this one! No lawyers! Carrots!"

"Hopps!"

"JUDY!"

* * *

 _The Mystic Spring Oasis had always been one of Zootopia's most unusual attractions. Tonight, it would become the site of an equally unusual crime._

 _Under the dark, cloudy sky, the large form of Nangi the elephant lumbered towards the center of the Oasis, where the famous Pleasure Pool resided. Taking a moment to find her center, she slipped into the water and closed her eyes in relaxation. She was at peace._

 _And thus completely unaware of the sinister shape that slowly crept up behind her. The figure raised a long weapon above its head...and brought it down onto hers._

 _THWACK!_

" _No...how could this happen? I can't be caught like this! I have no choice.I...I have to hide it…"_

* * *

 _July 14th, 10: 17 AM_

 _Zootopian Central Courthouse - Defendant Lobby No. 3_

It was a new day and a new trial. That sentiment could be felt all around the courthouse, from clerks rushing back and forth to make sure all the necessary paperwork was in order, to members of the gallery slowly flooding in to watch the day's events like the spectacle it was. But even among this crowd, no one missed the arrival of one particular mammal, for he himself could be considered a spectacle.

Dressed in a sharp blue suit and indigo tie, clashing greatly with the tacky shades on his face, one of the greatest oddities known to mammalkind walked through the front doors. He was a fox lawyer, a hybrid of stereotypes so maligned and distasteful it was a wonder he ever made it through law school, let alone passed the bar exam, let alone strolled right into court as the picture of perfect confidence.

But of course, that was only the picture he _wanted_ them to see. The truth of the matter was a bit more complicated.

 _My name is Nick Wilde. I'm still not sure exactly how it happened, but I'm a defense attorney. Not the easiest job for a guy like me, but nothing about my life has been easy. This trial certainly won't be._

Ignoring the distrustful glances from every side, Nick adjusted his grip on the large briefcase he was lugging in and kept his eyes peeled for the one mammal he actually wanted to see.

Though that mammal didn't particularly want to see _him._ A fennec fox in a dark brown suit paced back and forth across the floor, not noticing him just yet. Smirking a little, Nick snuck up beside the inattentive fox and dropped the case to the floor with a loud thud. "Hey there, Finn."

He jumped almost high enough to reach his waist (not including ears). Whirling around on him, he snarled angrily. "There you are! How many times are you going to be late to your own trial?! I'm warning ya, Nick, one of these days they'll mistake me for you and I'm just gonna roll with it!"

 _This cheerful fellow is Finnick, my legal sidekick, also known as a co-counsel. Despite his rough demeanor, he's got a good head on his shoulders. He just has trouble getting it above the defense's bench sometimes._

"And will you stop swiping my shades?!" Finnick yanked Nick down by his tie and snatched the glasses from his face, sticking them into his front pocket. Grunting in annoyance, he pulled the case over to him and flipped it open, rifling through the unnervingly-thin contents. "I hope you've at least studied the court record. We don't need you forgetting the defendant's name again."

"That was _one_ time," Nick protested. "Besides, I don't think it's going to be a problem today. Right, Mr…?" He frowned, looking back and forth. "Where's our client?"

"Currently getting fitted for a suit after the deputies decided his current state of dress wasn't appropriate for the courtroom," Finnick growled, snapping the case shut again. "A problem I had to deal with _myself,_ by the way."

"And I'm very grateful that you did that-"

"Bite me."

"-but what I really want to know is if you found out anything about who we're up against today."

It was as if his anger had suddenly drained away, and been replaced with pessimism. "It ain't looking good. Our opponent is a rising prodigy from out in the sticks. From what I hear, they've been undefeated in Bunnyburrow for about five years now, with a reputation for being cold and ruthless to criminals and defense attorneys alike. Not only that, but apparently they have a special talent for getting into the mind of any species, thinking like they would. Some crazy kind of empathy."

"Ooooooooh, beware the killer rabbit!" Nick chuckled, wiggling his fingers with a scary voice.

"And you wonder why no one takes us seriously."

He waved off the remark. "Come on, Finn, you worry too much. We'll be fine, even if we have to wing it in there."

"You mean like we always do?"

"Exactly!"

"Hey, man, _I_ believe in you." From behind the two foxes came another voice, though more noticeable was his smell. Their client had arrived, dressed in a bead necklace and what looked like an incredibly uncomfortable suit. Underneath the suit was a veritable mop of fur, including a mane so thick it completely covered his eyes, only allowing his nose, mouth, and a pair of curved horns to escape. Not to mention the whole gaggle of flies above his head, emphasis on _gag._

"You see?" Nick asked, pointing to the mammal. "Yax believes in us."

"How reassuring," Finnick said dryly, watching him scratch and bite at his new wardrobe.

"You gotta lighten up, little guy," Yax smiled at him. "Life's too short to get so worked up."

"What did you just call me?!"

"Repeat after me," he said, taking up lotus position right there in the middle of the lobby and slipping into a trance. "Ohhhhhhhm...ohhhhhhhhm...ohhhhhhhhm…"

"Grrrrrrrrrrr...grrrrrrrrrrrrr...grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…!"

Nick quickly stepped in before this turned into another incident. "Look, if the guy on trial here can be this chill, you can too. Let's dial it down a bit, Finn."

All this really accomplished was focusing Finnick's ire back on the taller fox. "That zen naturalist bunk might be good enough for _him_ , but the two of us need to actually come up with a plan here!"

"Mr. Wilde," a bailiff announced. "The trial is about to begin. Please enter the courtroom."

Finnick muttered a few choice words unfit for a court of law, causing Yax to shake his head. "Sounds like someone hasn't found his center."

"That's it!"

"Okay, I think it's time to get going now!" Nick scooped up his briefcase in one arm and his furious co-counsel in the other, then swept through the double doors into the courtroom.

 _Today, I'm taking on a murder trial, one which I have barely investigated and am completely unprepared for. Believe it or not, that's just business as usual at the Wilde Crimes Law Offices. Makes you wonder why anyone would ever hire me, huh?_

 _You're about to find out._

* * *

 _10: 31 AM_

 _Zootopian Central Courthouse - Courtroom No. 2_

Nick found himself the center of attention as soon as he stepped inside, eager onlookers from the gallery staring down at him from every angle. It was a sensation that might unnerve a rookie, especially when most of them were expecting to see him fail as with any defense lawyer, but he had always taken it in stride. It wasn't that different from just being a fox after all.

Or maybe they were staring because of the small, yet feisty fennec currently biting at his arm. In any case, Nick just smiled and waved as he padded across the tile floors and took his spot behind the defense's bench. A small flick to the head was all it took to remind Finnick that he had a job to do, after which he hopped off of Nick's arm, straightened out his suit, and stood beside him on a prepared milk crate.

"Court is now in session for the trial of Yaxley Matton," announced a portly cheetah sitting on the judge's bench overhead. He wore the typical black robes of the profession, but this judge was anything but typical. For one, he went the extra step of sporting a powdered wig, and his fur was speckled with the crumbs of many donuts. Honorable Judge Clawhauser had long struggled to combine his love of pastries with his legal obligations, but it seemed he had finally found a way, a half-eaten donut stuck on the handle of his gavel for convenient snackage between testimonies.

Below him stood the significantly more imposing figure of Bailiff Bogo, arms behind his back and eyes solidly forward. The water buffalo perhaps took his lowly position just a _bit_ too seriously. In another world, it was easy to imagine their roles reversed, and Bogo gave off the distinct impression that he wished they were.

But Nick wasn't paying much attention to either of them, because on the other end of the room stood his opposition. A rabbit, a _female_ rabbit, stared back at him coldly, purple eyes boring into him. Her ears stood up rigidly straight, as did the rest of her, enough that it took Nick a second to remember that she must have been standing on some kind of support as well. Her suit was a dark lavender with a carrot-shaped brooch, cleaned and pressed to perfection. Squinting a bit, he could just spot three faint scars on her left cheek.

 _(Won't be expecting any jokes out of this one.)_ Now Finnick had to remind _him_ to do his job, with a not-so-gentle elbow to the side. "T-The defense is ready, Your Honor!"

"The prosecution has _been_ ready, Your Honor," the rabbit said, her expression unwavering.

Clawhauser was quick to acknowledge her. "D'awwwwwww, aren't you just the cutest little-" The glare she shot at him could melt steel. "You are Prosecutor Judy Hopps, correct? What a pleasure it is to have you serving our fair city."

Either she was quick to forgive or respected the authority of a judge too much to care. "Thank you, Your Honor. I must admit, the crowds here are a lot bigger than the ones I'm used to in Bunnyburrow. Nevertheless, I will fulfill my duty to its fullest."

Nick couldn't resist. "You know, if you get too intimidated, there's no shame in calling it quits."

"I appreciate the concern, but I'll be just fine," she shot back. "Especially against _you_ , Mr. Wilde."

He blinked in surprise. "You know my name?"

"Of course." She smiled calmly. "In preparation for my move to Zootopia, I studied up on all active defense attorneys operating in this city. You were one of the more...memorable examples."

"Really?" he smirked, leaning over the bench. "They call me charming, witty, irresistible?"

"More like sneaky, underhanded, phony. A charlatan who bluffs his way to victory," she said distastefully. "Some have even taken to calling you 'The Wilde Guess'."

"Heeeeey, that's kinda catchy!" He rubbed his chin, turning to Finnick. "Think we can put that on our business card?"

"I don't think it was intended as a compliment."

"Regardless," said Judy, "I won't let your trickery stop me from making the world a better place. And today, that starts with putting a killer behind bars."

"Well said, Prosecutor Hopps," Clawhauser agreed, trying hard to stay professional. That was undermined slightly by his high-pitched giggle afterward. "You can go on ahead and deliver your opening statement now."

"Gladly." She reached under the desk and pulled out a manila file, which she opened with one paw. "The murder occurred at the _Mystic Spring Oasis_ in Sahara Square. It's a...natural health resort, with a focus on...recreational activities." She frowned in clear discomfort.

 _(Guess they don't have naturalist clubs in Bunnyburrow.)_

She was quick to shake it off. "The victim was an elephant known only as Nangi, a yoga instructor for the residents. She was found dead in the resort's Pleasure Pool early yesterday morning by another employee, a large gash on the top of her head from a blunt weapon."

Clawhauser gasped loudly, his paws clapped on his cheeks. "Murdering someone while they're taking a bath? _Heinous!"_

"Indeed. However, blunt force trauma was _not_ the cause of death. The blow merely rendered the victim unconscious, afterwhich her head slipped under the water and she drowned." She shook her head in disgust. "A cowardly method to kill a mammal you can't beat in a fair fight."

 _(Murder typically doesn't involve a fair fight, no.)_ But there were bigger issues with what she just said.

"Hey, what gives?!" Finnick suddenly shouted. "That bit about the cause of death wasn't in _our_ autopsy report!"

Judy put a paw to her chest in what _looked_ like surprise. "My apologies. You must not have gotten the latest update. I shall rectify that posthaste." She signaled Bailiff Bogo over to her bench, where she just so happened to have an extra copy of the report, then sent it over to the defense.

Finnick snatched it up with a scowl. "Gee, thanks."

 _Autopsy Report added to the Court Record_

Nick watched this exchange with clear interest. "Looks like someone isn't above playing dirty herself."

"Glad you find it so funny."

"Estimated time of death is between 10 and 12 PM," Judy continued as if nothing happened. "I have here a photo taken of the crime scene." She pulled out a small photograph and passed it to Bogo, who then passed it to Clawhauser. Only after the cheetah hemmed and hawed over it did Nick finally get a look.

The Pleasure Pool looked the same as it normally did, a paradise for nude mammals wanting a dip. It was surrounded by lush grass and small rocks used for decorative purposes, with larger rocks at the back forming a small waterfall. And slumped against it, head bowed, was Nangi. She almost could have passed for asleep if not for the gaping wound on her head and the blood still soaking the water around her, along with a copious amount of mud. He couldn't help but shudder. To think that such a tranquil place as Mystic Spring had been home to this grisly sight. Where the killer had struck from was obvious, as there was a considerable lip where the rocks jutted out directly behind her head. On that lip was a few hard splotches of gray he couldn't quite identify.

Oh, and on top of all that, there was the fact that Yax was laying right next to her, unconscious. Another detail he would have really liked to know about beforehand. "Yax...were you seriously found like that?"

"Uh-huh. Why, is it important?"

Sighing, Nick quickly pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the picture for reference before returning it to the prosecution.

 _Crime Scene Photo added to the Court Record_

And Judy still wasn't finished yet. "I would also like to present this diagram of the Mystic Spring Oasis." This time she had a large, folded up sheet to share with the court.

The diagram was simple, but telling. It showed an overhead view of the resort's front lobby, with a single entrance into the lounge through a pair of double doors. The lounge itself had an open roof, but was surrounded by thirty foot walls on each side. The Pleasure Pool was positioned square in the center, facing the doors. At the opposite end was another room, labeled as the storeroom, and an office positioned in the upper-left corner. Also labeled on the diagram were minor attractions like the volleyball court and mud pit.

 _Oasis Diagram added to the Court Record_

Finally done showing off the fruits of her investigation, Judy was quick to vocalize what he was already thinking. "The only plausible entrance into the lounge was through its front doors, and the only other mammal there at the time of the murder was the defendant, serving as a night guard in the lobby."

 _(Okay, this is bad already.)_ "Then what does the prosecution believe his motive to be?" Nick challenged. "Yax had no reason to kill his own co-worker."

"Co-worker? It seems you aren't as informed about this case as you should be." She almost sounded sympathetic. Or was that pity? "Nangi was not merely the defendant's co-worker, but the official _owner_ of Mystic Spring Oasis."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Nick reeled back, gaping.

From the defendant's chair, Yax nodded eagerly. "Eeyup, Nangi used to run the place. And I was right under her, so now that she's gone, I guess that would make me the new boss. So it's a good thing I'm not the killer, huh?"

 _(Well I know who we're NOT putting on the stand.)_ More troubling was the fact that this prosecutor had conveniently left that fact out of her opening statement. Was she testing his knowledge of the case or just setting him up to make a fool of himself? Either way, he knew then and there this was not going to be an easy opponent.

"I have to admit, that sure sounds convincing," Clawhauser agreed, taking a bite out of his gavel donut. "But not much in the way of real evidence. Can't go giving it to you _that_ easily, Ms. Hopps, no matter how adorable you are."

"I understand," she said through gritted teeth. "Then as my first witness, I call the detective in charge of the scene. He should clear up any doubts you may have, Your Honor."

"Oh yes, that should do nicely," he nodded, still chewing.

"You don't think it's _him_ again, do you?" Finnick half-asked, half-groaned.

"Going by our luck so far, I'd say our odds are about 1 in...1."

Sure enough, the sound of clopping hooves began to approach. Both foxes looked on with a mix of horror and exasperation as a tall, auburn horse came to the stand. He wore a white detective's coat, tie, and a badge that hung from his neck. He seemed completely oblivious to their displeasure as he turned his head and shot them a friendly smile, swiveling a piece of hay around in his teeth.

Nick remained deadpan. "Look, everyone, it's the famous Mister Fed."

"Witness, please state your name and occupation," Judy requested.

The horse bowed his head with a neigh of greeting, and probably would have tipped a hat if he were wearing one. "Detective Bailey Oates, at your service, ma'am."

Both Nick and Finnick groaned loudly in unison.

" _What_ is your problem?" Judy snapped at them. "Detective Oates is a respected member of the Zootopia Police Department and I will not have you two disparaging him!"

"No worries," Oates said. "The dark horse is always underestimated before he crosses the finish line."

Judy nodded, smiling at him. "Yes, I can relate."

 _(Why am I not surprised that she's fluent in crazy?)_ "How about we hear his testimony before we make any judgment calls one way or the other?"

Clawhauser looked just a bit too interested himself. "Detective Oates, please tell us about what you found on your investigation."

Oates didn't even look at him, too busy polishing his badge. "Of course. You folks pay attention now."

"This outta be good," Finnick muttered.

 _Witness Testimony - Murder at Mystic Spring_

 _The sun set on the Oasis as it did on our victim, between the hours of 10 and 12._

 _It was only her and the defendant there under the light of the moon, no one else._

 _Yet the next morning, she was gone to pasture and he was just gone with the wind._

 _As we looked upon the scene, we found the weapon that done the deed._

Finnick let out a loud, irritated sigh. "Yep. Another classic Oates testimony..."

Nick shut his eyes and pinched his brow. "If he spent half as long investigating as he did waxing poetry, this case would already be solved."

Even Judy seemed to be quickly reevaluating her opinion on the detective. "Well...that was...sure something."

But Oates couldn't look more proud of himself. "What do you think? A good testimony is like a good sugar cube: short and sweet."

Judge Clawhauser managed a polite clap. "...Mr. Wilde, you may begin your cross-examination."

 _(Why me?)_

"Good luck, buddy," said Finnick, genuinely sympathetic.

"I'll be fine." Nick tried to convince himself as much as his co-counsel. "Just gotta dig through the manure until I find that lost nickel of truth."

"Not you too!"

 _Cross-Examination - Murder at Mystic Spring_

 _The sun set on the Oasis as it did on our victim, between the hours of 10 and 12._

 **Hold it!**

"Ignoring the fact that sunset was _way_ before 10 PM, why exactly was the victim there after hours in the first place?"

Oates smiled at him, completely ignoring the thinly-veiled insult. "It seems this was a normal routine for her. One of the perks of owning a health resort is the privilege of getting to use it after hours. I have to admit, bathing in that serene atmosphere alone at night, it sounds pretty romantic."

 _(Sounds more like something out of a horror movie, and it ended like one too.)_ "So she was completely alone out there?"

"For most of the night anyway. You see…"

 _It was only her and the defendant there under the light of the moon, no one else._

 **Hold it!**

"I distinctly remember it being cloudy that night, but how do _you_ know there was nobody else there? Mystic Spring is too old-fashioned to have security cameras."

"From the defendant himself actually. He was on watch that night and he made it clear that no one else entered the lounge but Nangi." Oates stroked a hoof through his mane. "Sometimes the biggest hurdle in the race is your own loose shoes, and that boy is as loose as you can get."

Nick slammed his paw down on the desk. "But you still can't _prove_ there was nobody else there!"

The horse bit his lip. "W-Well…"

"The prosecution concedes that we can't prove it," Judy admitted. "But the burden of proof is on _you_ , Mr. Wilde. Either prove that another mammal was there or stop wasting everyone's time."

Oates looked pretty smug for someone who just got bailed out. "Before you go throwing all your money in the pot, you best make sure you're betting on the right horse."

 _(I'm not betting anything on YOU, that's for sure.)_

 _Yet the next morning, she was gone to pasture and he was just gone with the wind._

 **Hold it!**

"What are you talking about? The defendant can be seen right there in the photo!" _(As much as I wish he wasn't.)_

"Allow me to clarify," he said slowly. "I didn't say he _left,_ I said he was _gone."_

Nick stared at him blankly. "...Could you clarify a little more?"

Oates sighed, clearly not understanding the need. "The boy was passed out on the scene, i.e. _gone._ Guilty conscience, or just too tired from hammerin' folks, you decide. Anything else you got a problem with?"

At least this part he could comment on. "Yes, actually. If Yax really _had_ tried to kill Nangi during the night, wouldn't she have seen him?"

Clawhauser titled his head. "What do you mean, Mr. Wilde?"

"Just think back to the diagram. If Nangi was where the police eventually found her, she would have been on a direct line of sight with the entrance to the lounge. If Yax had come in at any point, she would have spotted him!"

"So what if she did?" asked Oates. "The defendant was a trusted employee after all. You don't know there's a saboteur until he rigs the race."

"But he's got those big, cloppy hooves! I'd think she would have at least noticed him coming up behind her on those rocks!"

Yax was quick to chime in. "Nah, Nangi goes into a total trance when she's bathing like that. I could yell right in her ear and it still takes her a second sometimes."

Judy smirked. "Normally, I would object to the defendant speaking out of turn, but I think I can live with this."

 _(Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Fluffbutt.)_ Though it didn't change the fact that he was quickly running out of straws to grasp.

 _As we looked upon the scene, we found the weapon that done the deed._

 **Hold it!**

"Care to enlighten us on what that weapon _is?"_ Even the autopsy report had only said a blunt weapon, but that was probably just something else waiting to be "updated".

"The weapon was a sledgehammer," Oates answered. "Big, powerful, just like my granddad used to have on the farm. And just like my granddad himself, come to think of it."

Now _that_ was unexpected. "A sledgehammer? At a naturalist club? Seems a bit out of place, don't you think?"

"I wouldn't be so sure," Judy said, looking through another file. "You see, the day of the incident, Mystic Spring suffered from a burst pipe in the lounge area. A construction crew has been making renovations to fix it."

"You mean to say that Mystic Spring _sprung_ a leak?" Nick grinned.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. In any case, _that_ is where the sledgehammer came from. Detective, can you tell us where the weapon was found?"

"It was dredged up from the pool itself, soaked like a newborn calf."

"And covered in blood like one?" Nick asked.

Oates looked horrified.

"To answer the defense's question," Judy replied, "the hammer still held significant blood splatter on one side of the head, consistent with an overhead strike. It's likely the culprit only intended to hide the weapon, or remove any of their own traces left on it. How unfortunate for him that he happened to pass out right next to it."

 _Sledgehammer added to the Court Record_

 _Autopsy Report updated in the Court Record_

"Does that explanation satisfy you, Mr. Wilde?"

 _(If it does, that's it for me. I gotta find something…)_ "Not so fast! You've told us where the weapon was _found_ , but not where it was originally. Let's hear more about these renovations you mentioned."

Judy looked back at him...and slowly smiled.

 _(Crap.)_

"If you insist. Detective, you may show it now."

"It would be my pleasure." And indeed, he looked absolutely thrilled to get one up on Nick. "This right here is a photograph we took of the renovations."

That didn't sound so bad at first. Not until Nick actually saw the picture.

The workers had left quite a mess to be sure. Sectioned off by yellow tape was a large pipe dug up from underground, a significant hole in its surface that was undergoing reconstruction and still appeared to be flowing. To that end, a large pool of wet concrete filled the area. And that was where the problem lay, for he could see two clear hoofprints embedded into the surface. "...Oh."

 _Renovations Photo added to the Court Record_

"And before you ask, the police have confirmed these prints to be an approximate match with the defendant," Judy said quickly. "Now why would someone not on the construction crew be stepping around in wet concrete?"

"Oh! Oh!" Clawhauser waved his arm excitedly. "Because they're the killer?"

"Yes, Your Honor. I should also mention where exactly these renovations were taking place." She calmly circled a spot on the diagram in red pen, then showed it.

Nick blanched. The spot she had circled was directly behind the Pleasure Pool...and its solid rock wall. He didn't find his voice again before she continued. "As you can see, the victim could _not_ see anything being done back there. This allowed the defendant to easily walk right past her, retrieve the weapon without her knowledge, and then bring it down on her head."

 _Oasis Diagram updated in the Court Record_

"Then...those grey splotches on the crime scene photo are…" He didn't want to look.

"That's right," Judy answered anyway. "Concrete residue."

 _Crime Scene Photo updated in the Court Record_

Nick gulped, sweating bullets as he tried to come up with something, _anything_ else. "Did you find any residue on Yax's hooves?"

"You ask that like it matters. As it was still wet at the time, it could have come off at any point between there and the Pleasure Pool just by walking through the grass. There was enough splotched around to support that claim. As for what was left at the scene, it could have flaked off of the hammer itself from prior use."

"T-That doesn't prove...uh…"

It was by sheer luck that the trial didn't end right there, and only because Oates went and opened his big mouth again. "Shame that hammer was the most convenient weapon around. Don't go branding yourself unless you want to leave a mark."

Nick's ears perked up, always attuned to the sound of a contradiction. "Detective Oates, could you add that to your testimony?"

 _Don't go branding-_

"The first part!"

 _Shame that hammer was the most convenient weapon around._

 **Objection!**

Finnick sighed loudly in relief. "Finally. I almost _wanted_ this trial to end just to shut him up."

Nick kept his focus on Oates, unable to keep down a smug grin. "The hammer was the most convenient weapon? Are you _sure_ about that?"

Taken aback a bit, the horse glared at him. "Why go lookin' for a needle in a haystack when the pitchfork's right there?"

"I'll do you one better. Your Honor, can you tell me what Mystic Spring is most known for?"

Judge Clawhauser was flushed, trying his best to avoid looking at him. "W-Well, not that I would know or anything, but the mammals there have a great fondness for all things...natural. Just a guess, of course."

 _(Be thankful you're not the one on trial here.)_

Judy noticeably flinched at the word "natural". "You'd better have a point, Wilde."

"But of course. See, in order to create the _natural_ feel, the Oasis is made with _natural_ grass, _natural_ water, _natural_ trees...and _natural_ rocks."

Her eye twitched.

"Rocks…?" Oates started to sweat a little.

"Naturally," Nick smirked, crossing his arms. "In fact, I believe we've all seen a good number of rocks just recently. Where was that again? Oh yeah, the crime scene photo!"

Clawhauser nodded in understanding, relieved for the change in topic. "That's right! There were decorative rocks all around the Pleasure Pool!"

"Decorative, yes, but very real. If the killer was in the market for a blunt weapon, there was a whole bargain bin sale right in front of them." He looked back at the eccentric equine. "So answer me this, Detective. Why settle for a pitchfork…" He pointed sharply at him. "...when you've got the keys to the tractor!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Oates staggered back, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. The strand of hay once held there slowly drifted to the floor.

"Why the long face, Detective?"

Finnick glared at him. "Wasn't funny the first time."

The gallery was abuzz with chatter. Clawhauser almost choked on a piece of donut trying to calm them down. "Order! Order!" He swallowed. "The defense has a point. But Mr. Wilde, why would the killer choose the sledgehammer instead?"

"This contradiction doesn't mean squat unless you can answer that," Finnick warned. "You better have something good, Nick."

His smile didn't waver. "Of course I do…" _(...as of right now.)_ "This evidence shows why they used the hammer!"

 **Take that!**

"The answer is simple, Your Honor. And it lies in that very same picture of the renovations we just saw." Clawhauser quickly took back the picture and stared at it closely, fully enraptured. "The hoofprints you see there do not show the killer retrieving the weapon, but rather their attempt to make it _seem_ like they did. For a simple rock doesn't allow you to leave behind evidence so easily."

The cheetah scratched his head, dislodging a few crumbs. "They... _wanted_ to leave behind evidence?"

"As long as it doesn't point to them, sure. The killer ignored the easiest method to commit the murder and instead chose one that was both obvious and left telling clues behind. The only reason they would do that is to frame my client!"

 **Objection!**

Judy sighed, slowly shaking her head. "I knew I should have stepped in earlier. How like a fox to think only of himself."

He tilted his head. "Wha...What does _that_ have to do with-"

Judy slammed her paw down. It was surprisingly loud. "Maybe _you_ would kill someone with a rock, but not everyone could do the same."

 _(Glad to know you think so highly of me.)_

"Whatever do you mean, Prosecutor Hoops?" Clawhauser's attention had left Nick as quickly as it came.

"Let's do an experiment." Judy lifted her right paw, keeping it flat as she split her fingers apart in the middle, two on each side. She kept her joints stiff and inflexible. "All of you imitate this pose with both paws."

 _(I knew rabbits were weird, but this takes the carrot cake.)_ He did so anyway, feeling only slightly ridiculous after seeing Finnick reluctantly doing it too.

"I think the prosecutor has officially snapped," the smaller fox muttered, too confused to be angry.

"This is fun!" Clawhauser giggled, proudly displaying both paws. "It's like we're making our own secret pawshake!"

Nick rolled his eyes. "I'm sure we're all wondering what this is about, so mind filling us in, Carrots?"

"Don't call me that!" she snapped, quickly regaining her calm. "Now, with your paws still in this position, imagine trying to pick up a large, smooth rock, like you see around the pool."

 _(I've already ridden the crazy train this far, might as well get to the station.)_ Nick pantomimed lifting a rock with his new, stiffer paws whilst making robot noises. He had to admit, this _did_ seem a little tricky. And now that he was starting to see what the point of this was, a little unnerving as well.

There was a loud thunk. "Oops! Bailiff, can you pick up my gavel? My chocolate deluxe didn't fall off, did it?"

Judy mercifully put this charade to an end. "What you have just experienced is a sensitivity test designed to give you a feel for what it is like to have hooves. Without the aid of pads, claws, and opposable digits, even the simple task of lifting a rock becomes much more difficult _Especially_ if you need the control to murder someone with it." She looked down at her own paws, almost sadly. "Mammals like us take much for granted."

Detective Oates nodded sadly, placing a hoof to his chest and closing his eyes.

 _(Oh, you poor ungulates. We get it!)_

"This must be that empathy of hers in action," Finnick noted. "Frankly, I'm not impressed."

"Maybe you would be if it was _your_ contradiction she just flattened."

Just to pour a little more salt in the wound, Yax offered his insight too. "Thanks for understanding, Ms. Prosecutor. With how slippery those rocks around the pool get, I have trouble just moving them around."

Sensing that the tide was quickly turning against them, Nick struggled to counter her point. "Even _if_ you're right, that only means the killer is of the hooved persuasion. You can't prove it was Yax specifically!" _(Maybe it'll sound less desperate if I shout it real loud.)_

But Judy was not moved. "Do I need to? As we have already discussed, Mr. Wilde, you still can't prove that anyone else was even at the scene while we have clear evidence that Mr. Matton was." She lifted her arm and pointed harshly at the fox. "As long as those facts remain true, your conjecture is meaningless!"

"AGGGGGGGGGGH!" Nick was pushed back by the force of her logic, only just digging his claws into the bench to steady himself.

"Alright, I admit it. She's good," said Finnick. "We might be screwed here."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

Judy cleared her throat. "Now that that's settled, I would like to call my next witness."

"Huh?" asked Oates, eyes wide. "B-But I thought you wanted me to go over the rest of our investigation..."

Judy casually looked over her claws. "That was before you made a fool of yourself in the name of justice. I don't need any more testimony from an addle-brained detective. We will discuss this further during your next salary review."

For the first time, Nick saw Detective Oates bow his head in shame. "Yes, ma'am…" Then he turned around and skulked off, not exactly the picture of riding into the sunset as he would've liked. _(I guess her empathy is selective.)_

Brushing it aside, Judy raised her voice once more. "The prosecution calls to the stand...Ms. Dawn Bellwether!"

* * *

 _Berserker88 here. Thank you all for reading the start of my Ace Attorney What If. As you can probably tell, I'm a HUGE fan of the games and intentionally structured this story as if you were watching gameplay footage more than reading fanfiction. So if you're visualizing everyone as sprites or 3D models and hearing epic music at every turn, you are getting the most out of this experience. For those who aren't as familiar with the series, I still tried to make it clear what's going on so you don't get too lost._

 _On the Zootopia side of things, I'm guessing that what stands out to you most is Prosecutor Hopps. Her personality is a blend of several Ace Attorney prosecutors, particularly Miles Edgeworth, which is probably a bit off-putting for some of you. Rest assured, there is an in-story explanation for why she is the way she is (which is hinted at even in this part if you've eagle-eyed enough), but for now, I hope you can at least love to hate her._

 _Since I am trying to make this like the games, listed below is the Court Record for (relatively) easy reference. It will be updated with every new part, so be sure to keep an eye on it if you want to try solving this case along with Nick. :)_

 _Court Record:_

 _Attorney's Badge_

 _The symbol of my profession, icon of my status, yadda yadda. It's not exactly pretty, but it does let me keep my job._

 _Nangi's Autopsy Report_

 _Death caused by drowning after being struck with a sledgehammer. Estimated time of death is between 10 and 12 PM on July 12th._

 _Crime Scene Photo_

 _Shows the victim slumped over in the Pleasure Pool, small and large rocks surrounding her on each side. The victim's blood can be seen mixed into the water along with a large amount of mud. Hardened concrete residue can be seen behind the victim. Yax is lying nearby, unconscious._

 _Oasis Diagram_

 _A simple diagram showing the lobby and the main lounge, with the doors connecting them. The Pleasure Pool is shown in the middle of the lounge. The storeroom is at the back and Nangi's office in the upper-left corner. The renovations area is directly behind the pool, obscured from view. Other attractions like the volleyball court and mud pit are also labeled._

 _Sledgehammer_

 _Used to render the victim unconscious. Blood splatter and location of the wound shows that it was swung from overhead. Was found submerged in the Pleasure Pool._

 _Renovations Photo_

 _Shows the area the workers were reconstructing after the pipe burst, the pipe itself with a giant hole left in it. A pool of wet concrete shows clear hoofprints. Water is still flowing through._

 _Profiles:_

 _Nick Wilde_

 _Age: 32_

 _Me, myself, and I. I've been a defense attorney for a long time now, but I'm still not exactly what you'd call a professional. Good thing I'm not asking you._

 _Finnick_

 _Age: 35_

 _The ray of sunshine who serves as my co-counsel. He may not be very confident in the job, but he knows how to keep me going in his own special way._

 _Yaxley Matton_

 _Age: 28_

 _A long-time member of the Mystic Spring Oasis, and a firm believer in all things natural. He's a nice guy, but could do a better job keeping his mouth shut. Was found konked out at the crime scene, which is how he got himself arrested._

 _Judy Hopps_

 _Age: 24_

 _The prosecutor on this case. Apparently a big deal out in the sticks, and not exactly the sweet, cuddly bunny I would expect. Seems to have some weird knack for being able to empathize with any species, but clearly not me._

 _Bailey Oates_

 _Age: 46_

 _A veteran detective on the ZPD, but that doesn't mean he's wise with experience. I'd say his old age is getting to him, but it sounds like he's always been kind of a kook._


	2. Lyin' and the Lamb

**Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney**

 **Chapter 2: Lyin' and the Lamb**

 **Written by Berserker88**

 **Edited by Mind Jack**

 **Cover art by Quirky Middle-Child**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: This story is not based on American law. It is a parody of a parody of Japanese law. Reading this from an American legal perspective will likely give you an aneurysm. Please do not attempt it. Thank you._

* * *

First impressions had never been trustworthy as far as Nick's career was concerned. He had faced numerous witnesses before, of various species, occupation, and mentality, enough that he considered himself well-versed in how to deal with them. Even so, the ewe who approached the stand now was enough to give even him a slight pause.

She was dressed in bright, leafy green attire, somewhere between a business gown and hippie robes. A pair of large glasses adorned her face and she wore the usual bead necklace of a Mystic Spring member. A pencil was wedged behind her ear while a pink flower stuck out from the puff of wool on top of her head. It was like she couldn't quite decide who she wanted to be today.

Judy expected an answer though. "Please state your name and occupation."

The ewe gave a polite curtsy and smile, shaking a bit as she did so. "S-Sorry, this is my first t-time in a courtroom. I'm a l-little nervous.."

Clawhauser nodded in sympathy. "Oh, I _completely_ understand. First trial I was on, I fainted right before I could hand down my verdict! How embarrassing!"

Judy frowned. "Name and occupation, please."

"I know right? It's so nervewracking! Don't get me wrong, it's exciting too. There's just so many people…"

Judy slammed on her desk to get the sheep's attention. "Name and occupation!"

She jumped a little, nearly dropping her glasses. "Eep! D-Dawn Bellwether. I'm an intern at the Mystic Spring Oasis."

 _(This should be fun.)_ "So you're the employee who discovered the body?"

"That's me!" She shuddered a little. "Gosh, it sounds so scary when you put it like that."

"Ms. Bellwether, can you testify about what you observed when you came to work that morning?" Judy asked, a bit more gently.

She clapped her hooves together and smiled. "I'd be happy too. Anything to do my part for the community."

"I don't like this," Nick said quietly. "All the witness did was discover the body, so why is Prosecutor Fluff so confident about her testimony?"

"I don't know, but I look forward to watching you find out," Finnick smiled wickedly.

 _(Why did I hire you again?)_

 _Witness Testimony - A Very Baaaaad Morning_

 _I arrived at Mystic Spring at about 9 AM to start my shift._

 _Everything seemed fine until I entered the lounge and saw Nangi._

 _She was slumped over in the pool, and lying next to her was the defendant, I'm sure of it._

 _I couldn't believe he was capable of something like that, but the proof was right in front of me._

 _So of course I immediately called the police._

 _Then I sat down and meditated until they arrived._

"You...meditated? Right next to her body?" Nick asked incredulously.

"Oh, of course not!" she laughed it off. "I was at least ten feet away."

"How the witness deals with grief is irrelevant," Judy stated. "What's important is what she saw."

 _(Which wasn't much. I can definitely work with this.)_

And then she spoke again. "Ms. Bellwether, can you just clarify one thing for me? You testified that you saw the defendant, Yaxley Matton, there at the scene?"

Bellwether nodded eagerly. "Yes, I did."

"And did you find anything strange about that?"

Nick narrowed his eyes. _(What is she up to?)_

The sheep frowned, idly pulling on a piece of her wool in thought. "Well...now that you mention it, I did find it strange that he had gotten there before me."

"Why would you think that?" she asked, in a tone of voice that implied she knew exactly why.

"Because Yax would've unlocked the front doors to get in, but when I got there, I had to open them myself. So I guess he must've locked himself in there all night."

Nick tensed. "Urk!"

"Thank you. Nothing further." She made no attempt to hide her smirk. "You may proceed with your cross-examination, Mr. Wilde."

The gallery went into an uproar, needing several slams of Clawhauser's gavel to settle down. But even the judge was squinting suspiciously at Yax now.

Nick forced himself to keep smiling, a very noticeable effort. _(And that's how you get crucial testimony from a useless witness. That sly bunny…)_

Finnick didn't need to be a mind reader to get the gist. "Damn. What do we do now? Prove someone else could've snuck in?"

"No." Nick shook his head firmly. "But she's hoping we'll waste the effort trying. We need to find another avenue of attack, and fast."

 _(If this testimony is just to trip me up, then maybe she hasn't studied it as closely as she should have. That's the only chance we have left.)_

 _Cross-Examination - A Very Baaaaad Morning_

 _I arrived at Mystic Spring at about 9 AM to start my shift._

 **Hold it!**

"What exactly is it that you do at the Oasis anyway?"

"I work in the storeroom at the back, keeping inventory on supplies and things like that."

"Indeed, you can see this storeroom on the diagram of the building," Judy confirmed. "The witness would have passed straight through the crime scene to get to it." Nick felt the need to check that for himself just to be sure. Couldn't chance anything now.

 _(Nope. That's a storeroom, alright. Right where they said it'd be.)_ "Um...anything _else_ you do at the Oasis?"

The sheep looked down, blushing visibly as she twiddled her thick hoof-fingers together. "I don't participate in any of the club's _usual_ activities if that's what you mean. I'm an intern, not a naturalist. This getup is really just to fit in."

"Wouldn't you fit in more with _no_ getup?"

"EEEK!" she gasped.

"Kidding! Kidding!" Nick said quickly. "I can assure you that no one in this courtroom wants to see you naked."

"I do!"

 _(Shut UP, Yax!)_

 _Everything seemed fine until I entered the lounge and saw Nangi._

 _She was slumped over in the pool, and lying next to her was the defendant, I'm sure of it._

 **Hold it!**

"Why did you assume only Nangi was dead? From that perspective, it seems like neither of them would look too hot."

"He didn't seem dead though, just _seriously_ out of it, like someone waking up from a long nap. I would've given him some first aid and smelling salts, but Nangi…" She trailed off, biting her lip.

"It was very brave of you to come to the stand today," Judy said softly.

"You're doing the right thing," Clawhauser reassured her.

"Thank you." She wiped a small tear from her eye. "I never thought I would have so much support."

 _(Great. Now she looks like a hero and I look like a jerk.)_

 _I couldn't believe he was capable of something like that, but the proof was right in front of me._

 _So of course I immediately called the police._

 **Hold it!**

"About what time would you say this was?"

 **Objection!**

"What time the witness called the police is irrelevant," Judy protested.

 _(Oh no, you don't.)_ "This testimony _is_ about the discovery of the body, right? I'd say knowing when the call was made is quite relevant."

"I agree," Clawhauser said, taking another bite from his donut. "Mmm, that's good! Objection overruled. Ms. Bellwether, please amend your testimony."

 _I remember it clearly. I called the police at exactly 9:28 AM._

 _Then I sat down and meditated until they arrived._

"You got some more info out of her, but I don't see much in the way of a contradiction," Finnick said.

"Me neither." Nick smiled anyway. "But that doesn't mean we're out of options. I think I've found that weak spot I was looking for."

 _I arrived at Mystic Spring at about 9 AM to start my shift._

 **Hold it!**

He slammed the bench firmly. "Now wait just a minute. Or do you not remember how long that is?"

"What are you talking about?" the ewe asked. "Of course I do."

"Then please enlighten me," Nick said curiously, "as to how you came to work at 9 AM, but didn't call the police until 9:28. That's hardly what I would call an 'immediate' response."

Bellwether stiffened, sweating nervously as she tugged on her collar. "I...er...you see…"

"The witness was clearly in shock from seeing the body," Judy argued. "Nothing more."

He wasn't buying it. "For nearly _half an hour?"_

"Wait, I remember now!" Bellwether called out. "I went into my calming mediation _before_ calling the police. I'm so sorry for the mix up. I just...couldn't think straight with...with…" She suddenly burst into tears.

 _(I'm not sure which one I want to strangle more right now.)_

"Can you please testify just a bit more for us?" Clawhauser asked, clearly struggling not to cry himself.

She sniffled. "I-I'll try."

 _Witness Testimony - Screaming of the Lamb_

 _I admit it, when I saw the body, I freaked out._

 _I had to just close my eyes and calm down before I could do anything._

 _The sight of Miss Nangi in such a state, done in with that grisly sledgehammer…_

 _It was all too much for my poor, fragile mind to bear._

 _Can you please find it in your hearts to forgive me?_

Clawhauser had lost his battle against the waterworks. "Of course we can, you poor thing!" the big cat sobbed. Bailiff Bogo passed him a box of tissues, and needed at least one for himself.

Judy probably would have gone over to hug her if she could. "I know this has been very traumatic for you, but don't worry, you'll be done here soon." She shot a pointed glare at the defense team, as if daring them to say otherwise, then continued to comfort her.

Clawhauser blew loudly into a tissue. "We don't need to hear anymore. You can go home and rest now."

 **Hold it!**

"Uh...I still want to cross-examine her, you know," Nick insisted.

"Haven't you done enough already?" Judy asked scornfully.

The gallery was quick to add their own input.

"Yeah! Leave her alone!"

"I knew foxes were cold-hearted!"

"Get out of the courtroom, jerks!"

"Order! Order!" Clawhauser brought the noise back down, though not because he disagreed.

Finnick practically gagged in disgust. "You think she's actually buying into that crap or just trying to put pressure on us?"

"Hard to say," Nick admitted. "Maybe she really doesn't want us to cross-examine this testimony because she's worried for the poor thing. Or..." He smirked. "...because she's spotted the same glaring contradiction that I have."

"You found a contradiction in that sheep's sob story?"

"Sure did. Hopps wasn't expecting this testimony and it shows." He flexed out his fingers. "It's time to turn the tables."

 _Cross-Examination - Screaming of the Lamb_

 _I admit it, when I saw the body, I freaked out._

 _I had to just close my eyes and calm down before I could do anything._

 _The sight of Miss Nangi in such a state, done in with that grisly sledgehammer…_

 **Objection!**

"Well, well. What you just said is awfully revealing."

"I told you, I'm not revealing anything!" She blushed furiously, trying to cover herself up even more.

"Not about that!" Nick pulled up his info on the murder weapon, looking it over carefully. "That sledgehammer you mentioned...about thirty inches long, wooden handle, big honking bloodstain on it?"

"That's the one," she hissed. "I think I would know."

"Yeah, that's the thing. Actually, you _shouldn't_ know." Nick slammed his paw down, making her jump. "Because that hammer was at the bottom of the Pleasure Pool until the police pulled it up!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEK!" Bellwether's wool puffed up violently and without warning, sending her glasses, pencil, and flower flying in different directions.

 **Objection!**

"The witness must have heard about the hammer before the trial!" Judy yelled, pointing at him.

"I don't think so! Even _I_ didn't know about it until just a little while ago!"

"That's not something you should be bragging about, Nick," whispered Finnick.

Nick ignored him. "And that was _before_ Lambchop here even came in. We haven't so much as mentioned it since." He pointed right back at her. "So there's no way she should've known about it!"

"Urrrrrgh," Judy growled, clutching one of her ears tightly.

Clawhauser furrowed his brow in thought. "Then how _did_ she know about it? Do you have an explanation, Mr. Wilde?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. I believe that the sledgehammer was _not,_ in fact, submerged at the time of the incident." He now pointed accusingly at the witness. "It was Ms. Bellwether herself who chucked it into the Pleasure Pool!"

"Witness!" Judy was glaring far more viciously than a bunny should be capable of. "Did you lie to me?!"

 _(So even Hopps didn't know about that little tidbit, huh?)_

Bellwether tried her best to avoid that fierce gaze. "I wouldn't say _lie_ exactly, but I may have...withheld some things…"

"You will tell us the truth. _Now."_

"O-Okay…"

 _Witness Testimony - Ewe Have to Believe Me!_

 _After I saw the body, I was worried that someone might have stolen from the storeroom._

 _I went to check it, but, this is so embarrassing, I realized I had lost my key._

 _So I saw that hammer sitting there and gave the padlock a good ol' whack._

 _As it turned out, no one had gotten in after all._

 _But I was worried about getting pulled into this, so I threw the hammer into the water._

Nick and Judy shared a look of silent disbelief, for once in total agreement. Nick spoke first. "So let me get this straight. You showed up to work to find your boss dead and a co-worker unconscious, but instead of calling the police, you used the murder weapon to break into your own storeroom?"

She giggled. "Well when you say it like that, it just sounds insane."

 _Sledgehammer updated in the Court Record_

"You think maybe your priorities were a _bit_ off?"

"I knooooow...but I've only just started working there and my boss up and croaks on me! I had to know how much damage this was going to do to the Oasis."

 _(And your job.)_ "I'm sorry your employer's brutal murder was so inconvenient for you."

"Aww, thanks!" She smiled brightly. "Maybe you're not so bad, after all."

"Something tells me you're not gonna get your point across," Finnick advised.

"Something tells me you're right…"

Clawhauser promptly scarfed down the rest of his gavel donut, knowing he was going to need it. "Mr. Wilde, you may proceed."

Finnick couldn't even muster up anger. "How are you supposed to tackle something like this?"

"It's fishy as all heck, yet somehow still solid. Guess there's only one thing to do."

 _Cross-Examination - Ewe Have to Believe Me!_

 _After I saw the body, I was worried that someone might have stolen from us too._

 _I went to check the storeroom, but, this is so embarrassing, I realized I had lost my key._

 **Hold it!**

"Then you have a separate key for the storeroom?"

"That's right. I usually keep it on a keychain, so I didn't realize until then that it was gone."

"Any idea when you lost it?"

She looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "I definitely had it the day of the murder. I performed my job as usual, was wrapping up...oh! Maybe it happened when we were evacuated."

"Evacuated?"

"You heard about the pipe bursting, didn't you? When that happened, Nangi ordered everyone out of the building due to the flooding. Good thing I wasn't naked like most of them…"

 _(That must have been a sight to see.)_ "About how long was the building empty?"

"Approximately one hour," Judy answered first. "That's when the construction crew moved in and started working on it."

"Hiding information again?"

"Please. This is all basic knowledge that anyone who actually studied the case would know." Her tone was dripping with condescension. "The only reason I didn't mention it before is because I saw no relation to a murder that happened hours later."

He was not deterred. "We'll see about that. Ms. Bellwether, do you know where you might have left your keys at that time?"

"I was attending a special aerobics class before it happened. I put my keys down for a while, so maybe someone there swiped it."

 _Storeroom Key added to the Court Record_

"Hmm...in that case, maybe our killer was a member of that class."

"Was the defendant a member?" Judy immediately asked.

"Oh yes, I think he was!"

From condescension to just plain smugness. "Perhaps you were onto something, Mr. Wilde. This may be related after all."

"You're welcome." _(I knew rabbits were good at jumping, but I didn't think it applied to conclusions.)_

 _So I saw that hammer sitting there and gave the padlock a good ol' whack._

 **Hold it!**

"Did you really have to use the _bloody murder weapon?"_

"To be honest, my first thought was to use one of the decorative rocks around the Pleasure Pool, but with hooves, it's a little hard to-"

"Yes, I know, thank you!" Nick cut her off. "But that same quality also makes you a potential suspect."

"So predictable," Judy sighed. "Did you really think the prosecution had overlooked that fact?"

Nick smiled cheekily, a paw on the back of his head. "Uh...I was kind of hoping?"

"Shame, but we've already compared the witnesses's hoofprints to those left at the scene. Hers are far too small to be the culprit's."

"I see…"

Finnick slapped a paw to his face. "Every time we gain a bit of ground, she drags us further back down. How like a rabbit."

 _(Or an antlion.)_ Still... _was_ Bellwether a suspect? He wasn't about to discount the possibility just yet. Not with what he'd noticed.

 _As it turned out, no one had gotten in after all._

 **Objection!**

"Just one more question…" he spoke slowly. "Why exactly were you expecting something to be stolen in the first place?"

"Weren't you paying attention?" Judy replied. "The witness just testified about that."

"Oh, I was paying attention alright. Especially that part about the storeroom key and how only the witness had one."

"Didn't she say it was stolen from her?" asked Clawhauser. "Wouldn't that explain how someone could sneak in?"

"Yes, Your Honor, but _when_ was it that we came to that conclusion? Just now, when we were talking about it. Before that, she only believed the key to be 'lost', not stolen." He slammed the desk with gusto. "And before _that_ , she didn't even know she had lost it in the first place! So she had no reason to fear that someone had gotten into the storeroom!"

Bellwether flinched. "...I didn't say that."

To his surprise, Judy actually seemed to be considering it. "Hmm...but why would she lie about something like that?"

Nick smirked. "Obviously, because that was not her real reason for breaking into the storeroom."

"Then what _was?"_ she challenged.

"Well, she must have...uh…" His smirk disappeared. "Maybe...she could've…no...but what if…"

"Did you seriously have no idea where you were going with that?"

"I got it!" he yelled confidently. "It can only mean something _was_ stolen from the storeroom! By _you_ , Bellwether!"

"WHAAAAAAAAT?!" He had to shield his eyes as her wool imploded once again.

 _(Oh hey, looks like I actually got it right.)_ "You can't hide your secrets from me!"

"That's preposterous!" Judy was quick to argue. "The ZPD searched Ms. Bellwether as soon as they arrived on the scene. They found nothing out of the ordinary."

"Well of course. If she's smart enough to hide the sledgehammer, she would do the same with whatever she took out of there. Something she didn't want the ZPD to find."

Judy pinched her brow, trying to stave off a migraine. "You don't even know what this 'something' _is_ and yet you're trying to build a case out of it? Your reputation is well-founded, Mr. Wilde Guess."

"Nick, be straight with me here," Finnick said dryly. "Is this all just a giant bluff?"

"I wouldn't say _giant…"_

"What a fun theory!" squeed Clawhauser, who actually seemed completely genuine about it. "But can you tell us where this hiding place is?"

"Yes, Mr. Wilde, _can you?"_ Judy asked.

 _(No pressure or anything.)_ But Mystic Spring prided itself on being an open and transparent environment. Was there really any place to hide something around there? "Actually...I believe I can."

"Then show us," said Judy, unconvinced. On cue, Bailiff Bogo unfurled the Oasis diagram for all to see. Thankfully, Nick knew exactly what he was looking for as he extended his arm and pointed.

 **Got it!**

"I'd like to conduct a search of the mud pit. No better place in a spa to exfoliate your evidence."

"NO!" Bellwether screeched. "I-I mean, there's no need to look there."

Clawhauser looked slowly from her to the bunny. "Hrmmm...what do you think, Prosecutor Hopps?"

"Because I am quickly losing faith in my witness, I will consent to this search," Judy conceded, already pulling out her phone.

"Really?" Nick was stunned. "Well...thank you."

"But if it turns up nothing, I do hope you are prepared to face the consequences."

 _(Yep. Thought so.)_

Judy finished punching in the number and held the phone to one of her large ears as it rang, and was quickly answered. "Detective Oates, have you returned to the crime scene yet?"

" _A good stallion always returns to the stable after the morning run."_

"I'll take that as a yes. Listen, I need you to search the mud pit for...well, we don't actually know yet."

" _Wilde?"_

"Wilde."

" _You got it, ma'am. My boys will sweep the hay until it-"_

She hung up. "Your Honor, I hereby request a 15-minute recess while the crime scene is searched."

Clawhauser nodded eagerly, all too quick to agree. "Request granted!" He then not-so-discreetly leaned down and whispered into Bogo's ear. "I bet you twenty bucks they find something."

He snorted. "No thanks. I've been in too many of Wilde's cases to take a bet like that."

 _(Am I really that predictable?)_

Not that he was worried. One look at Bellwether's panic-stricken face was enough to tell him he was right on the money. "Oh, mutton chops…"

"Until then, court is adjourned!" Clawhauser slammed down the gavel with finality. He went to take another bite before remembering he had no more donut on there. The feline narrowed his eyes at the empty space. "Bailiff...I need you to conduct a search of your own."

Bogo sighed. "Yes, Your Honor."

* * *

 _11: 09 AM_

 _Zootopian Central Courthouse - Defendant Lobby No. 2_

"Well that was just _fantastic!"_ Finnick yelled the second the doors closed behind them, once again dragging his briefcase through the lobby. "Fifteen minutes of sitting around while the outcome of this trial rests inside a pool of mud! Frankly, it seems pretty fitting for us."

"Hey, I think that prosecutor was slinging way more mud than the two of us," Nick said, much more calmly.

"You sure seem relaxed about this."

"Come on, you can't tell me that sheep isn't hiding something."

"Yeah, but how do you know she doesn't just want to keep anyone from reading her diary?"

"Because the mud would ruin the pages." He swiftly sidestepped Finnick's attempt to swing the briefcase into his groin. "Woah there! If you have an objection, you can just yell it like normal people."

"Hey now, there's no need to fight. We're all friends here." Yax stepped out behind them, mellow as usual and oblivious to all the trouble he'd caused during the trial.

"Hope your cellmate feels the same way," Finnick muttered.

"Huh?"

"What my partner means is that we're not out of the woods yet," Nick amended. "We still need to figure out what kind of piece Bellwether's holding onto before we can put this puzzle together."

"Better be a signed confession with video evidence at this rate," Finnick grumbled again.

"The point _is,_ we can't make any conclusions yet one way or another. But whatever's underneath that mud pit, we'll be ready for it."

"Are you always this insufferably optimistic?"

"Finn, seriously-"

"Did that _sound_ like me to you?"

Blinking in confusion, Nick froze as he suddenly picked up a new scent in their midst. One that his instincts identified as meek prey, but the rest of him already knew better. "Hello to you too, Prosecutor Hopps."

The rabbit stared back at him. Well, more like stared _up_ at him. Actually, she was really staring _into_ him, as if hoping to see what he was all about if she just looked hard enough. _(Good luck, sweetheart. I haven't lost a poker game in twenty years straight.)_

Sure enough, she soon gave up the effort, frowning in dissatisfaction. "Hmph. You're not like other defense attorneys I've met. There's something different about you that I just can't put my finger on…"

"Great deductive skills. I can see why you're such a revered prosecutor, Carrots."

"I _said_ don't call me that!" It was almost cute the way she stood up on her tiptoes to gain more height, but he didn't dare say as much, not without the gavel to get away with it. The two lawyers locked eyes, engaged in a battle of wills.

"Hey, we're kinda in the middle of something here!" Finnick forcibly pulled them apart. "And we don't have to tell you _anything,_ so about you scurry on back to your own side?"

"Now now, let's not be hasty." Nick looked down at him patiently. "Ms. Hopps wants to know more about me and it is a gentlemammal's duty to oblige."

Judy glared. "Are you making fun of me?"

"Wouldn't dream of it. Now, what can I do to help the fuzzy wuzzy bunny put things together?"

Another battle of wills had begun, this one to see whether or not Judy would slap him before the recess was over. "You can start by answering my question. _Are_ you always so optimistic about your trials?"

He had to stifle a laugh on that one. "Oh no, not at all. I'm not even optimistic about _this_ one, just..confident."

"Is that so?" She seemed disappointed. "With all due respect, your particular skill set does not strike me as one to inspire such confidence."

"I'm not talking about my skills."

"Oh?"

"I mean that I'm confident in my client," he said, pointing over to Yax. The bovine smiled and waved at her as if she weren't currently trying to put him in jail. "And no matter what you say or do, I believe in his innocence."

"I hope you realize how naive that is."

He shrugged. "Maybe, but that's always been my motto. Because I know better than anyone the value of having someone who believes in you."

"I see..." Judy wasn't looking at him, yet clearly interested. "That's all I needed to hear. Thank you." She spun on her heel and made to leave.

"Wait, that's it?"

"That's it." She stopped in place, but kept her back to him. "I now know for sure that you are a different breed of attorney. Nevertheless, I have a duty to fulfill and I will see it through to the end."

"Even if the end is an innocent mammal going to jail? Is that really what you want?"

He couldn't see her reaction, but she gave it away, subconsciously reaching up to touch the scars on her cheek. "...It doesn't matter what _I_ want."

He didn't get to ask for clarification before she stormed off. When he saw her in the courtroom again, he knew that brief moment of weakness would be long gone, replaced by the same hardened prosecutor he'd become familiar with.

Finnick spat. "Geez, what was _her_ problem?"

"I don't know," Nick said, watching as she disappeared around the corner. "But I think I'd like to find out."

* * *

 _The hardest part about this whole thing was not coming up with a murder mystery to solve, but doing so with only a handful of evidence from the getgo, then having to introduce it seamlessly into the trial. I know a lot of Ace Attorney fans aren't crazy about the investigation portions, but I almost wish I could have added one here. Small hints of Judy's alternate backstory in this chapter, as well as Nick's. Expect to see more on that as we go along._

 _Court Record:_

 _Attorney's Badge_

 _The symbol of my profession, icon of my status, yadda yadda. It's not exactly pretty, but it does let me keep my job._

 _Nangi's Autopsy Report_

 _Death caused by drowning after being struck with a sledgehammer. Estimated time of death is between 10 and 12 PM on July 12th._

 _Crime Scene Photo_

 _Shows the victim slumped over in the Pleasure Pool, small and large rocks surrounding her on each side. The victim's blood can be seen mixed into the water along with a large amount of mud. Hardened concrete residue can be seen behind the victim. Yax is lying nearby, unconscious._

 _Oasis Diagram_

 _A simple diagram showing the lobby and the main lounge, with the doors connecting them. The Pleasure Pool is shown in the middle of the lounge. The storeroom is at the back and Nangi's office in the upper-left corner. The renovations area is directly behind the pool, obscured from view. Other attractions like the volleyball court and mud pit are also labeled._

 _Sledgehammer_

 _Used to render the victim unconscious. Blood splatter and location of the wound shows that it was swung from overhead. Was found submerged in the Pleasure Pool after being used by Bellwether to bash open the storeroom._

 _Renovations Photo_

 _Shows the area the workers were reconstructing after the pipe burst, the pipe itself with a giant hole left in it. A pool of wet concrete shows clear hoofprints. Water is still flowing through._

 _Storeroom Key_

 _A key used by Dawn Bellwether to open the storeroom. Went missing the day of the murder and is believed to have been stolen._

 _Profiles:_

 _Nick Wilde_

 _Age: 32_

 _Me, myself, and I. I've been a defense attorney for a long time now, but I'm still not exactly what you'd call a professional. Good thing I'm not asking you._

 _Finnick_

 _Age: 35_

 _The ray of sunshine who serves as my co-counsel. He may not be very confident in the job, but he knows how to keep me going in his own special way._

 _Yaxley Matton_

 _Age: 28_

 _A long-time member of the Mystic Spring Oasis, and a firm believer in all things natural. He's a nice guy, but could do a better job keeping his mouth shut. Was found konked out at the crime scene, which is how he got himself arrested._

 _Judy Hopps_

 _Age: 24_

 _The prosecutor on this case. Apparently a big deal out in the sticks, and not exactly the sweet, cuddly bunny I would expect. Seems to have some weird knack for being able to empathize with any species, but clearly not me._

 _Bailey Oates_

 _Age: 46_

 _A veteran detective on the ZPD, but that doesn't mean he's wise with experience. I'd say his old age is getting to him, but it sounds like he's always been kind of a kook._

 _Dawn Bellwether_

 _Age: 36_

 _A neurotic sheep who interns at Mystic Spring in the storeroom. Doesn't have much of a commitment to the lifestyle. May also be slightly insane._


	3. Bad Mojo

**Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney**

 **Chapter 3: Bad Mojo**

 **Written by Berserker88**

 **Edited by Mind Jack**

 **Cover art by Quirky Middle-child**

* * *

 _11: 25 AM_

 _Zootopian Central Courthouse - Courtroom No. 2_

"Court is back in session," Clawhauser announced cheerfully, clearly because of his passion for the law and not the new strawberry-flavored, heavily-sprinkled, jelly-flooded donut stuck on his gavel. "Prosecutor Hopps, what was the result of the ZPD's search?"

And that was the only question that mattered to Nick right now. He shared an uneasy glance with Finnick, both knowing their case rided on the answer. Dawn Bellwether had returned to the stand as well, visibly hoping for a different one.

Judy's response wasn't reassuring for either of them. "I am pleased to report that they have found something."

 _(Pleased? I have a bad feeling about this..._ )

"I knew it!" the feline exclaimed. "That'll be twenty bucks, Bailiff."

"I told you, I wasn't betting!"

The gallery immediately took interest, filled with speculation and astonishment that the defense was actually onto something. Nick wasn't feeling particularly satisfied, not until he knew what he was dealing with. "So, uh...what exactly did they find then?"

"A box," Judy answered calmly. "Small and wooden, ancient Pandese in design."

 _(Is she trying to build suspense or just screwing with me?)_ "Can I assume something was _inside_ the box?"

"I believe what you mean to ask is _may_ you see-"

"What's in the damn box, lady?!" Finnick snarled.

If she was intimidated, she didn't show it. What she _did_ show was the contents of the box. "Here. Maybe this will help to calm you down."

In Judy's outstretched paw were a set of long, stick-like objects that Nick recognized instantly, to his great displeasure. "Is that...incense?"

"There! Are you happy now?" asked Bellwether, two parts annoyed and satisfied. "I wanted to keep my special set of incense onhoof to cool my head after the murder and knew that the nosy cops might confiscate it from me. I'm sorry for lying about it, but I didn't think it was going to be such a big deal!"

 _(I hate her. I hate her so very much.)_ "Then...this entire line of questioning was…"

"Pointless, yes."

Finnick at least wasn't surprised. "You think they allow incense in prison?"

"Finn!"

"What? I'm just thinking of our client. Ain't that what we're supposed to do?"

"If all of this is settled now," Bellwether said impatiently, "I would like to go home. I think I've had enough excitement for one day."

Clawhauser pouted. "This was awfully anticlimactic, but I guess you can go. Thank you for your time."

Bellwether smiled, and with another curtsey, she turned to leave the stand.

 **Objection!**

"Nick, seriously, I think it's time to let this go," Finnick urged quietly.

"Did that _sound_ like me to you?"

"I don't recall giving you permission to leave," Judy said, her glare stopping the ewe in her tracks.

"W-What? I thought we were done here."

"Far from it. I was just waiting for you to confirm that this is, in fact, yours."

"Do you have some kind of problem with the witness's incense?" Clawhauser asked. "Don't worry if it smells funny, they all do. Not...that I would know or anything."

"Oh, I have a problem with it alright. Observe." She casually lifted one stick in front of her...and snapped it in two. The purpose soon became clear as a dark purple powder spilled out onto her bench.

Finnick leaned as far across his own bench as he could manage. "What the heck is that?"

"I've never seen anything like it," Nick admitted, despite his wealth of experience in such matters.

"I have," Judy said simply. And so did Bellwether, judging by the sudden horror on her face. "For the past few months, the ZPD has been investigating a new street narcotic believed to originate from the Mystic Spring Oasis."

 _(Haven't you only been with them for like, a week?)_ "And that...demonic-looking stuff there is it?"

"It's been given the moniker 'Mystic Mojo'." A roll of her eyes showed just how much she cared for that name. "It's a powerful hallucinogenic drug with dangerous side-effects, but that's exactly why Mystic Spring and its lack of inhibitions is a perfect venue to sell it from. The ZPD have been searching for a lead, but were never able to get anything solid on where it was coming from. That is, until _now."_

 _Mystic Mojo added to the Court Record_

Clawhauser was nothing short of awestruck. "Wow, so the darling little lamb is actually totally evil? You're as incredible as they say, Prosecutor Hopps!"

"Just making the world a better place."

 _(Excuse me? Hello? Did we all forget who actually flushed this out in the first place?)_

"But of course, it's really Mr. Wilde we should be thanking. After all, he's the one who actually flushed this out in the first place."

Nick tried not to let his surprise show. He was getting increasingly uncomfortable with how easily this bunny could catch him off-guard. "Uh...you're welcome?"

 **Hold it!**

"Now wait just a minute!" Bellwether snapped, her hoof stomping loudly on the tiled floor. "I had no idea something like that was in there! You can't prove a thing!"

Nick shook his head, almost pitiably. "Don't even need an objection for that one. Didn't you just say that this was your 'special set' to 'cool your head' after the murder? If you had used that incense even _once_ before, you would know what it really contained."

Her bout of confidence evaporated quickly. "I...er...just...bought them?"

"Bought? No, it sounds to me like you were more of a _seller._ And that's why you so desperately tried to hide this from the police." He smirked, the full picture finally coming together in his mind. "No wonder you don't like working at a naturalist club, Ms. Bellwether. Because in the end," he pointed fiercely, "you're just a liar in sheep's clothing!"

It was the first time he had ever seen "deer in the headlights" on a sheep. "I...I...I-I-I-AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" This time, her wool didn't puff out; it outright _exploded_ off of her body in a shower of fluff that enveloped the entire courtroom. When it was over, all that was left was a shivering, hairless ewe.

From somewhere behind her, Yax cheered loudly. "Yeah! Way to embrace the naturalist spirit!"

"Oh my!" Clawhauser shouted. "Bailiff-"

"On it," Bogo said, already doing his best to sweep up the wool.

"Hmph." Judy casually flicked a piece of wool off of her nose. "I believe that about settles the matter, wouldn't you, Mr. Wilde?"

Nick hacked up some wool that got stuck in his throat. "Ugh...I'll say. But why are you suddenly so interested in helping me?"

"I'm not."

"Yeah, I know, you're just making the world a better place and stuff."

"You misunderstand," she replied, her tone suddenly a lot more confident. "What I meant is that nothing I just presented helps your case at all."

"You can't be serious," Nick shot back. "Your witness is a drug dealer! If that doesn't make Hellwether a murder suspect, I don't know _what_ does!"

"On the contrary, that very fact has eliminated Ms. Bellwether as a potential suspect." Ignoring his look of disbelief, she flipped open a folder and continued. "We now know that Bellwether's true goal was to hide her contraband of Mystic Mojo from the ZPD, a move she was forced to make due to stumbling in on a dead body. But if she had been the one to kill Nangi in the first place…" Judy snapped the folder shut, "...she would have removed it _then_ , safely away from prying eyes."

 _(I'm starting to wish she HAD just taken credit for this.)_ "That's...a tragically good point."

"Which means that our only suspect remaining is the one found at the scene...Yaxley Matton!"

"COME ONNNNNNNNNN!" Nick screamed, reeling back.

"So I guess this whole thing really _was_ pointless, huh?" Finnick asked.

"Not helping!"

The gallery went wild, but not for Wilde. "Order! Order! The prosecution makes a compelling point," Clawhauser stated. "Unless you have anything more conclusive, I can't allow you to indict this witness for murder, naughty as she may be."

 _(But...but this was supposed to be my big turnabout! I had the music playing in my head and everything!)_

"Don't feel too bad," Judy said. "You still helped to catch a dangerous criminal today. It's more than I expected out of you."

 **Objection!**

"Aren't you forgetting one thing, Carrots?"

"Like how you keep forgetting my name?"

He pointed a thumb towards the frightened ewe. "Like how we're supposed to analyze any and all new facts that come to light during a trial. If Lambchop really is behind this Mystic Mojo thing, I want to hear it straight from her."

"Such facts will be analyzed at her own trial. There is no need to hear anything more about it now."

"That has yet to be determined. Coincidence or not, that case overlaps with this one and we owe it to the court to see if there's any further connection."

Judy was not amused. "You don't know when to quit, do you?"

 _(Don't think I know how either.)_ "Am I wrong?"

It was a few more seconds facing that steely glare before she relented. "...No, no you are not. Very well."

 **Hold it!**

"Hey, don't I get a say in this?!" Bellwether yelled, no longer shivering from cold but trembling with rage.

"No, no you do not. The only thing I want to hear you say is what really happened. Now talk."

That shut her down remarkably fast. "Fine. It's as you said: I found Nangi dead in the water with the defendant _and_ a sledgehammer next to her. Since I couldn't just ditch the scene of a crime, I knew I had to hide my Mojo somewhere before calling the police. But I had lost my key to the storeroom, so I pulled out the hammer and-"

 **Hold it!**

"Wait, what do you mean you pulled it out?" Nick interrupted. "I thought you said it was lying next to the victim?"

"It was," she insisted. "Mostly, anyway. It was sticking up out of the water."

"Why didn't you say that the first time?" Judy asked harshly.

"Because I didn't think you lawyers would be so dang obtuse about every little detail!" she yelled back. "If I had, I might still have my wool!"

 _(I think the wool is the least of your problems right now.)_ "That's certainly an odd way to leave the weapon. Was the killer trying to hide the thing or not?"

"How should I know?! As we've _just_ established, that wasn't me!"

 _Sledgehammer updated in the Court Record_

"Is there anything else that stood out to you?" Nick pressed. "Anything at all?"

She seemed about ready to chew him out again, but a quick look at Judy's face stopped her. "No point hiding it now. There _is_ something else." She sighed, her anger fading away into resignation. "When I busted the lock and went to move my stash, I noticed...some of it was missing."

Nick was taken aback by that...and a little amused. "Wait, so you really _were_ robbed?"

"Yes, yes, I get the irony. But I'm certain there was less than I had the day before! They hired me as inventory manager for a reason, you know."

"Interesting, but hardly surprising," Judy said dismissively. "We already suspect someone stole the storeroom key, but that still isn't necessarily connected to this case. For all we know, one of your customers just needed a bit extra that day."

"I'm so sorry that my confession isn't good enough for you."

 _(I'm the one that's sorry. Now what am I going to do?)_

"Anyway, that's when I buried the rest of it. I knew I couldn't afford to take chances now, so I sunk the hammer and washed the mud off my hooves."

"So that's how the mud got in the water," Finnick noted. "She must have really dug it in deep to leave _that_ much though, yikes. Like a freaking landslide in there."

Not a detail Nick cared about too much right now. "Are you sure there's nothing else?"

"Nope! Sorry, fox, you're out of luck." She smiled at him coyly, knowing exactly how much she was screwing him over.

"Now then, I would like to bring this cross-examination to a close," Judy announced. "Unless, of course, you've got anything more to add, Mr. Wilde."

"Oh, I'm sure he does," Clawhauser chuckled. "That guy always has another trick up his sleeves."

"She sure knows how to put us on the spot, huh?" Finnick grumbled.

"Yeah, and it's not a nice spot to be in. We need to find some way to connect Mystic Mojo to the murder or that's it."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's _not_ connected?"

"Well, yeah, but I'd really like it to be."

"And I'd like for Buddha Boy not to go to jail, but we can't always get what we want."

 _(Hey...wait a minute, that's it!)_

Judy almost looked disappointed. "It appears that his sleeves are, in fact, empty, Your Honor. So without further ado-"

 **Objection!**

"Not yet, they're not!"

"Were...were you just waiting for me to start talking again?"

"Maybe, maybe not. The point is, I know a way that Mystic Mojo might be connected to this case after all!"

"You do?" asked Clawhauser.

"You do?" asked Finnick.

"Another ridiculous bluff, no doubt," said Judy. "Show us then, just where you think this connection lay."

"Not _where_ , dear Carrots, but _who,"_ Nick clarified. "I would like to call to the stand...Mr. Yaxley Matton himself!"

"Wait, what?!" Finnick looked nothing short of horrified. "Are you crazy?!"

"Like a fox. But it's not like we have anything left to lose. Except our dignity."

"You mean _my_ dignity! _Yours_ is curled up in a little ball and crying!"

"I knew it." Judy smiled. "This level of desperation is almost saddening. But I won't allow you to drag out this trial just because I feel sorry for you. What does the defendant have to do with this drug?"

"Let me answer your question with a question: what exactly are these 'dangerous side-effects' you mentioned?"

Judy returned him a look he recognized. It was the same look she had given him back in the lobby, still trying and failing to figure him out. Sighing in annoyance, she pulled out a file to answer him. "Like I said, it's a powerful hallucinogenic, one that can even distort a mammal's memory and the passage of time through prolonged use. If inhaled for too long, it overwhelms the user and causes them to fall into a semi-conscious state before passing out completely...oh, you have got to be kidding me. You can't possibly suggest-"

"That our good buddy Yax may have been drugged by this stuff?" he asked innocently. "I can, I will, and guess what, I _have."_

 _Mystic Mojo updated in the Court Record_

"If you insist on embarrassing yourself, go right ahead." She leaned in comfortably, looking forward to the show to come. "The prosecution accepts the defense's proposal. Defendant, please come to the stand."

Even just seeing Yax walk up to them weakened Nick's resolve. The bovine kept that goofy smile on his face the whole time, continuing to scratch at his forced suit while using his other hoof to wave to the crowd.

The crowd was not moved.

"Look at him, acting all innocent!"

"Not the least bit sorry about what he did!"

"Mommy, are naturalists bad mammals?"

"Hey, it's good to be here, guys! Thanks for having me!" he called back eagerly.

 _(Ten seconds in and already regretting it.)_ "I'm...starting to think this may have been a bad idea."

"Gee, I can't imagine what gave you _that_ impression," Finnick said, just trying not to throttle them both. "He's here now, so might as well get it over with. Like tearing off a really hairy band-aid."

Nick forced down his rising sense of dread. "Yax, do you know why I called you up here?"

"Not really. I was kinda zoning out for a while there."

 _(Sure, not like this is going to decide your entire future or anything.)_ "Well...we were talking about Mystic Mojo and-"

"Oh yeah, I know all about that stuff! Ask away!"

Judy was struggling not to laugh, something Nick would appreciate if he wasn't struggling not to cry. "I have to say, this is turning out even better than I'd hoped."

Nick slammed the desk in a futile attempt to calm his own nerves. "Yax! Tell us about what happened the night of the murder! Every last detail you can think of!"

Yax used the hoof that wasn't scratching his body to scratch his head. "Okay, sure, but I have to warn you, my memory about that is a bit fuzzy."

"Don't worry, I'm sure it will be enough," Judy said. "To seal your fate, that is."

"Alright, sounds good!"

 _(No. Please. You've already helped soooooo much.)_

 _Witness Testimony - What I Remember_

 _I went to the front desk to work the night shift at 9:23 PM._

 _Nangi came out to check in on me at 9:47, about two and a half minutes earlier than usual._

 _Then she went back to take her bath at 9:50. As she was going, I spotted this mole on her left cheek that kinda looked like my mom._

 _Anyway, I didn't see anything else weird, aside from this big spider web on the ceiling. It was like...34 inches in diameter._

 _So I just meditated with some incense until 10:00. Well, more like 9:59:57 I guess._

 _After that, I'm not really sure. Told you my memory was fuzzy._

The entire courtroom was silent. Nearly everyone in attendance found themselves afflicted with wide eyes, a gaping jaw, or both. Even Judy had caught the former, one of those eyes twitching uncontrollably.

"What the hell?" Finnick asked, dumbstruck. "Has he seriously been able to do that this whole time?"

"Huh. Guess this worked out better than I thought…" _(What is he, a cyborg?)_

Clawhauser had froze in place, donut nearly inside his mouth, but not quite. The ability to halt such a journey was impressive indeed. "...You...may cross-examine...the witness now...mmmph!" But it couldn't stop him for long.

Finnick finally shook the shock off. "I hate to say it, Nick, but as detailed as that was, I'm not sure any of it is actually gonna be useful."

On the other end of the courtroom, Judy had also recovered and was back to that same, unnerving smile. "As a matter of fact, I believe it's _already_ proven useful. "

"As much as I'd rather not ask," Nick said hesitantly, "what do you mean?"

"For someone with such an exceptional memory, it's quite _convenient_ that it should fail him within the very timeframe of the murder, don't you think?"

"You said yourself that Mystic Mojo exposure could cause memory loss, and Yax has testified that he mediated with incense during his shift. Sure seems like a clear connection to me."

"No, I agree. I now believe your theory to be partially correct."

"But let me guess, I'm also partially wrong?"

"So you _are_ learning," she said condescendingly. "Indeed, this does not prove the defendant was drugged, only the possibility that he may have been inhaling Mystic Mojo at the time of the murder. Now the question remains...whether or not he was doing so intentionally. We _do_ have a potential drug thief on the loose, remember?"

The gallery remembered.

"I knew it! He's a murderer AND a thief!"

"That filthy junkie!"

"Mommy, what's a junkie?"

"Oh, is _that_ what that stuff was?" Yax furrowed his bushy brows in confusion. "Would explain a couple things fer sure."

 _(I finally gain another foothold and she's already found a way to turn it back on me. Which means this is either going to be my second wind or the final nail in Yax's coffin.)_

 _Cross-Examination - What I Remember_

 _I went to the front desk to work the night shift at 9:23 PM._

 _Nangi came out to check in on me at 9:47, about two and a half minutes earlier than usual._

 **Hold it!**

"Usual? So this is what she normally does?"

"Yup. She teaches her late class from 6-8, then the place closes to the public, so she has dinner in her office, a tuna casserole that night by the smell of it, then comes to see me before her bath."

"I...see. Did she say anything unusual that night?"

He put a hoof to his chin, as if actually having trouble remembering. "Can't say she did. All she said was, 'Good evening, Yax,' and then I said, 'Evening, Nangi,' and then she said, 'Lovely weather tonight,' and I nodded and said, 'Sure is,' and then she sort of-"

"Okay, okay, we get it! Nothing unusual!" _(Besides you.)_ "So what happened next?"

 _Then she went back to take her bath at 9:50. As she was going, I spotted this mole on her left cheek that kinda looked like my mom._

 **Hold it!**

"About how many mammals would you say know that?"

"Anyone who got a good look back there, I imagine."

 _(TMI, buddy.)_ "About Nangi's schedule!"

"Oooooooooh!" He nodded fervently in understanding. "Seven."

"Why...that very specific number?"

"Because that's how many members we have on staff. Actually, I guess it's six now."

"Screw you, hairball!" shouted Bellwether from the sidelines.

"In other words," Judy said, "those are the individuals most capable of pulling this off. Which of course includes _you,_ the only one there with her that night."

"That is correct, ma'am."

"What else?" Nick asked, suddenly not wanting to stay on this line of questioning any longer.

 _Anyway, I didn't see anything else weird, aside from this big spider web on the ceiling. It was like...34 inches in diameter._

 **Hold it!**

"Then nobody else came in? At all?"

"Like I told the big horsey guy, no one."

"But what if someone just hadn't left?"

"That's also a negatory. I checked the whole building before setting up out front. There wasn't a soul to be found. I'm very vigilant."

 _(Unfortunately, you've proven that beyond a shadow of a doubt.)_ "You really checked _every_ room?"

"Sure did! Can't be too careful."

"Not careful enough apparently," Finnick shot back.

"Wait a minute, Finn," Nick said, paw raised to stop him. "Don't you think there's something odd about that?"

"What, like 'every day of this job' odd, or 'add that to the testimony' odd?"

"Yax, please add that last statement to your testimony."

"Well okay then."

 _(Things are going to get worse before they better, but...I think I can finally turn this around.)_

 _I checked every room of the building, but there wasn't anyone else there._

 **Objection!**

Nick decided to cut to the chase this time, knowing how bad it looked to object to his own client. "Yax, you say that you searched every room, but I'm afraid that's impossible. There's one room you could _not_ have entered."

"Huh?" The bovine's mane rippled, sending flies scattering. "Like what, man?"

"Bailiff, you know the drill," Clawhauser whispered. The buffalo muttered bitterly as he once again retrieved the diagram to display.

Nick gave him an encouraging thumbs-up, then pointed. "The room Yax could not have entered is _here!"_

 **Got it!**

"The storeroom, of course. According to Ms. Bellwether, that room should have been locked at the time as business hours were over. Which makes you being able to enter _very_ interesting indeed."

"Do you practice yoga, Mr. Wilde?" Judy asked. "Because you seem quite capable of sticking your foot in your mouth."

"Oh? Whatever do you mean, Carrots?" He tried to ignore Finnick nervously nudging his arm next to him. Turning just slightly, he winked at the smaller fox, then turned back to her.

"You really don't get it? I actually expected more out of you. Think, if the defendant could gain access to a room that should have been locked, then the most likely conclusion was that he had the means to unlock it." She smirked, pointing at the confused ungulate. "Which proves that he _is_ the thief of the storeroom key!"

"Woah, woah, I didn't steal anything," he defended, though not very defensively. "Yeah, the door was open, but that's because it was already unlocked. I don't know _why."_

"Hmph. You don't honestly expect me to believe that, do you?"

"Don't be so hasty, Carrots," Nick smiled. "Maybe he's telling the truth."

" _You_ stay out of this!"

"Alright, don't say I didn't warn ya…"

Clawhauser was beside himself. "Prosecutor Hopps, do you mean to indict the defendant with larceny _and_ possession of an illegal drug on top of the murder charge?"

"I do indeed, and the proof is right in front of you, courtesy of Mr. Wilde."

"You're welcome, by the way," the fox said. "But before you get too ahead of yourself, there's something I would like to present."

The cheetah's attention shifted just as quickly. "Oh, what's that?"

Judy's smile slowly faded, realizing too late that something was wrong.

 _(You're not the only one who can lay a trap, Hopps.)_ "Just a piece of evidence I thought might be relevant."

 **Take that!**

"The storeroom key?"

"Let's recap. Lambchop loses the storeroom key the day of the murder, but because of the evacuation, she doesn't notice it's missing until the next morning. That means that when she left the Oasis, she thought it was still safely locked. But that contradicts what Yax just told us. Yax, when did you check the storeroom?"

"9:16."

"Thank you, Yax. Meaning that sometime _after_ the theft occurred, but _before_ Bellwether discovered the body the next morning, the storeroom was locked once again." He crossed his arms, staring challengingly at the bunny. "But if Yax is the thief, then I need you to answer one question for me, Fluff. Where is it?"

Her smile was gone now. "W-Where's what? The Mystic Mojo had already been-"

"I'm not talking about the Mojo. I mean the storeroom key that my client allegedly stole it with. I'm sure you won't argue that he was passed out at the crime scene for the rest of the night, so if he really _had_ just committed a theft…" He slammed his paw down, as if to close the trap he had set up. "...that key would have been found on his person!"

"Ummmmph!" Like a rubber band, both of Judy's ears whipped back into her face in unison. They slowly peeled back off, revealing the most hilariously indignant expression Nick had ever seen.

"Which proves that the defendant is _not_ the thief. If he was high as a kite that night, it was not by his own right."

"Be that as it may, it doesn't matter," Judy countered.

 _(She sure changed her tune fast.)_ "How so? This means that a third party was clearly involved."

"The prosecution concedes that the defendant seems to have been unintentionally drugged." Very reluctantly, by the sounds of it. "But what you have yet to answer is _why._ Perhaps this was simply a mean-spirited prank on behalf of a co-worker."

"On the _very_ _night_ of the murder?"

She scowled. "Don't even try to tell me that's too farfetched after what you've pulled so far. Can you deny the possibility, Mr. Wilde?"

Before he could answer, Finnick suddenly burst out laughing. "She's using your own tactics against you! That is _gold!_ Bwahahahahaha!"

"I'm just gonna choose to take that as a compliment…"

"Take it as the end of the trial," Judy continued. "Because if your client can't remember anything else, there remains nothing to prove his innocence."

"Hey now, I didn't say _that,"_ Yax pointed out.

"...Excuse me?"

"I just said my memory was fuzzy during that time. So I still remember stuff, just like, not as clearly."

Her large teeth gritted."And you didn't think to mention that earlier?!"

"You guys said to tell you what I was doing before the murder, right? Well, the murder happened sometime after I went all far out, so I didn't think that, you know, counted."

Judy was trying very hard to keep her cool, and she wasn't the only one. _(How can he be so smart and so stupid at the same time?! Yax is the biggest contradiction of all!)_

"So just to be clear, we're _not_ done yet?" Clawhauser asked for clarification, eyeing an empty gavel. Several shaking heads answered him. "Then it's a good thing I brought extras this time!" He popped on another donut and took a bite. "Defendant, please testify for us once more."

"A lost cause, but you may proceed," Judy sighed. "I can't believe this still isn't over…"

"Well...okay," Yax said, "But I should warn ya, things might get a bit weird at this part."

 _Witness Testimony - What I Sorta Remember_

 _So I was just minding my business in the lobby, chilling with my incense…_

 _...when suddenly, Nangi comes back in! Except now she's all pink and glowy._

 _Then she starts talking to me about my past and stuff, no idea how she knew about the jellyfish incident._

 _She tells me she wants to take me somewhere, and suddenly we're both flying through the clouds. Weeeeeee!_

 _All these images were floating past us of guys I used to know. I tried to wave, but Nangi had a really tight grip on me._

 _After that, we finally landed. Then Nangi turns into a statue and just stops moving._

 _Then I guess I must've passed out. Man, what an experience though._

For the second time in less than an hour, Yax had rendered the courtroom speechless. _(What is this testimony I don't even)_

Clawhauser tried several times to bring the donut to his mouth, but this time he couldn't manage it. "I'm suddenly not hungry. Mr. Wilde, you may cross-examine...that."

"I will certainly try, Your Honor."

 **Objection!**

"No," Judy said firmly. "No, no, no! I've forced myself to stomach your shenanigans all morning, but cross-examining the defendant's drug trip is where I draw the line!"

 **Objection!**

"I have the right to cross-examine whatever I dang well please! Even a parrot if I have to!"

 **Objection!**

"It is a needless waste of the court's time and a potentially corrupting influence on the children in the gallery!"

"Mommy, what's an objection?"

 **Objection!**

"The pursuit of the truth knows no bounds!"

 **Objection!**

"Not even moral bounds? I can't say I'm surprised, coming from you."

 **Objection!**

"And _I'm_ not surprised that you've got a stick so far up between your bun buns that-"

"ORDER! ORDER!" Clawhauser screamed, banging his gavel more vehemently than anyone in the history of the Zootopian Central Courthouse had ever seen. "Do I have to get Bailiff Bogo to come discipline you two?"

The buffalo cracked his knuckles. "Just give me an excuse."

Both attorneys were cowed instantly. "No, Your Honor."

"Good. Now I have a compromise. Mr. Wilde, you may cross-examine the defendant. _However,_ there will be no needless pressing just for fun or you'll face the wrath of a penalty." He added a surprisingly-threatening hiss for emphasis.

 _(Note to self: do not deprive Judge Clawhauser of his sweets.)_ "I don't do it for fun…"

"So you admit that you press things needlessly?" Finnick grinned.

"I'm just gonna go ahead and get on with this now."

"You do that."

 _(Definitely the most surreal testimony I've ever dealt with, but this IS Yax's recollection of what happened. Just gotta find something to make sense of it.)_

 _Cross-Examination - What I Sorta Remember_

 _So I was just minding my business in the lobby, chilling with my incense…_

 _...when suddenly, Nangi comes back in! Except now she's all pink and glowy._

 **Hold it!**

"Do you mean to say that Nangi came back out during her bath?"

"Totally!" He paused, no longer so sure. "I mean, except for her color...and the glowing...and she was a lot smaller...and I think she had a third eye…"

Judy shook her head. "In other words, you were visited not by the victim, but a hallucination. Your Honor?"

"Sorry, Mr. Wilde, but you _were_ warned about this nonsense." He struck his gavel hard against the podium, signaling a penalty.

The fox winced, as if it were him that had been struck. _(You can't give me a mulligan on something like THIS?)_

 _Then she starts talking to me about my past and stuff, no idea how she knew about the jellyfish incident._

 _She tells me she wants to take me somewhere, and suddenly we're both flying through the clouds. Weeeeeee!_

 **Hold it!**

"Then you left your post at some point?"

"Of course he did," Judy answered for him. "How else would he have made it into the lounge when we found him?"

"W-Well, I mean _how_ did he get there?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Yax asked. "I flew!"

"I...feel like this isn't going anywhere."

Clawhauser disagreed. "Au contraire, it's a one-way ticket to a penalty!"

 _(I wonder who he hates more right now, me or Yax?)_ "This could be going better."

"Sure seems like you're having trouble there, champ," added Finnick, still snickering.

"This is ridiculous. How am I supposed to tell what's the real life and what's just fantasy?"

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to cross-examine it so bad, _you_ figure it out."

"You know, for a co-counsel, you could stand to do a little more counseling."

He rolled his eyes. "Ugh, playing that card again? Fine, then here's my suggestion. Stop focusing on what Yax _saw_ , and try a different approach."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, that's it. I'm an assistant, not a damn walkthrough."

 _(Actually...I think that might just be enough. Even for a hallucination, there's something off about this. No, ESPECIALLY for a hallucination.)_

 _All these images were floating past us of guys I used to know. I tried to wave, but Nangi had a really tight grip._

 **Hold it!**

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Yax, but would that mean you actually _felt_ Nangi?"

"Yeah, she was holding me from above as she carried me across the sky."

"Then you weren't both flying?"

"Of course not! Yaks can't fly!"

 _(Ignore it, Nick. You have a case to win.)_ "Can you describe what she felt like?"

Yax took an uncomfortably long time to respond. "Hmmmmmm...well, she was a lot hairier than I expected. With long claws too. And she was wet, going by how damp my fur felt afterwards."

"What is the point of this?" Judy asked. "Were you really expecting that description to sound _anything_ like the actual Nangi?"

"No, I didn't. And that's exactly what the point of this is."

Clawhauser was just as confused. "Nope. Not following. I guess I should just give you another penalty."

"W-Wait, hold on!" He quickly got to said point. "Just pay attention to Yax's testimony so far..."

"I was trying not to."

"...and you'll see that he only references things that are familiar to him. Nangi, past memories, mammals he knew before. But for a hallucination vivid enough for him to feel who he thought was Nangi, isn't it odd that his impression of her should be so distinctly wrong?"

"I have no idea! Not like I've ever been high or anything before!" He stared uncomfortably at his still untouched donut.

 _(That answers one question and raises several others.)_ "It's inconceivable that Yax's subconscious would dream up such a weird construct for no reason."

Judy leaned in, narrowing her eyes. "Then what _is_ the reason, Mr. Wilde? Because you'll need to do better than that to convince me."

"If you insist. The reason is because Yax did _not_ leave his post of his own volition. Rather, he was dragged into the lounge in his drug-induced state...by the real killer!"

"That's stupid," Judy replied bluntly. "And you can't prove it."

"Maybe not, but if Yax's hallucinations really do line up with what actually happened, I believe there's even more clues to uncover."

Finnick stared blankly at him. "Are you seriously putting all of our hopes on Yax being coherent?"

"Sure, just think about what happened next. He and Nangi landed in the same spot, and then she was suddenly still as a statue, which I can only assume is when he saw the real Nangi, dead in the water."

"Because that's what you _want_ to assume," Judy insisted, gritting her teeth even harder.

Yax raised his hoof. "Actually, that reminds me, I think there _was_ water around the statue."

"You mean around the dead body."

"Yeah, that. I wasn't sure what it was until just now though. It was all red and brown and purplish, not what you'd expect from water."

"Thank you for the insight," she said sarcastically. "Now if this farce of a testimony is done with, then-"

 **Objection!**

"Will you stop interrupting me?!"

"Carrots...did you hear what he just said?" Nick gulped. If he'd heard that right, he almost wished that Yax _was_ just imagining it. "If the red Yax saw represents the victim's blood, and the brown represents the mud, then what about the purple color? There's only one thing that comes to mind."

She understood instantly. "N-No...you can't be serious…"

Clawhauser did not. "What? What's everyone getting so dramatic about?"

"You never finished explaining the side-effects of Mystic Mojo, Carrots. I really think you ought to."

"Yes…" she said hesitantly. "While intended to be burned and inhaled, it is believed that long-term exposure to the physical powder can cause a sudden closing of the airways, resulting in...asphyxiation."

 _Mystic Mojo updated in the Court Record_

Finnick's eyes widened. "You serious? Then, the autopsy report…"

"That's right," Nick confirmed. "If Nangi suffocated underwater, she likely would have taken some into her lungs before she died. Anyone would think she had simply drowned."

"Th-That can't be." If only he could add the look on Judy's face to the Court Record. "That can't be! My entire theory can't be wrong!"

"First time for everything, Carrots."

"Then the sledgehammer...why the sledgehammer?!"

"Simple. To throw us off of the scent and make us come to a totally different conclusion. You know, just like you did."

"Kh!..." She could only let out a choked gasp.

"We'll need to study the water in the pool to know for sure, but Yax's testimony plus what we know of the crime is something we can't just write off as a coincidence. Get it now, Your Honor? I propose that Nangi's true cause of death was Mystic Mojo poisoning!"

It was as if the entire courtroom had come down with some kind of poisoning with the way the crowd was yelling. "Order! Order! Order!" Though Clawhauser was hardly any better. "Prosecutor Hopps, order an analysis of the pool water immediately!"

She barely budged, her only movements the result of her shaking with poorly-concealed shock and rage. "How? How did you flip my entire case upside-down?! Just who do you think you are?!"

"Chill, lady," Yax said calmly. "All he's saying is the truth. And the truth will set you FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Without warning, he reached up and tore the suit clean off his body, baring it all for the courtroom.

"MY EYES!" Judy yelled, stumbling back until she fell clear off of whatever support she was using. As the bunny tumbled behind her bench, several sheets of documentation flew up into the air.

"Well well." Nick couldn't help but laugh. "Looks like the prosecution no longer has a leg to stand on."

The gallery screamed even louder and Clawhauser joined right in. "Bailiff, do something!"

"On it!" Bogo careened across the floor and tackled the dancing naturalist to the ground.

 _(Hope that doesn't damage his credibility, not like he had much to begin with. Still...I should probably make note of that testimony.)_

 _Yax's Testimony added to the Court Record_

"Bellwether!" Judy pulled herself slowly up to the bench again. It was the angriest he had ever seen her. "Answer me this and I _may_ just lighten your sentence...how many employees of Mystic Spring did you sell your supply of Mojo to?"

"Are you crazy?" the hairless sheep scoffed, stepping around Bogo and Yax to get back to the stand. "Selling it to the employees would be the fastest way to get myself caught. I limited myself to the local nutjobs who came in looking for more than just spiritual enlightenment or whatever."

"But is there a way any of them could have known about it?" Nick asked.

"I'm not sure. To be honest, I tried to stay away from most of the long-term mammals because of, well…" She pointed at Yax, now being escorted out of the courtroom. "The only employee I spent any real time with aside from Nangi was the aerobics instructor from that class I mentioned. He seemed like another fish out of water, so I chatted with him for a while, even if it was a bit hard to keep a conversation going…"

"What was his name?!" Judy demanded.

"Weston, I think. Mr. Weston." She smiled at her hopefully. "So, can we discuss that lighter sentence now?"

"Bailiff, take her too."

"H-Hey!" In a heartbeat, Bogo grabbed Bellwether as well and dragged her out.

 _(Weston. Why does that name sound familiar?)_

"This seems like as good a time as any for a recess," Clawhauser said, sighing in relief that he finally had the excuse. "I'll give you twenty, no _thirty_ minutes to get a lab result on that pool water and to subpoena this new witness in the interim. Court is now adjourned."

"Heh. Looks like we've finally gotten a real lead on the perp," Finnick said, for once actually confident. "I don't know how you keep doing it, but we're still in the game, Nick!"

But Nick was suddenly not so confident. "Actually...I think we may have just lost this one…"

"Wait, what? How?"

"Because I just remembered where I've heard the name 'Weston' before." He let out some combination of a sigh and a whimper. "It's Flash's last name."

Clawhauser's gavel struck, bringing an end to the session.

* * *

 _And the plot thickens. At this point, it got so thick that I had to start going back and changing things in earlier chapters to make sure everything flowed correctly. Seriously, this whole thing has given me a new appreciation for the guys who put this stuff together in the games. It's no small feat._

 _Court Record:_

 _Attorney's Badge_

 _The symbol of my profession, icon of my status, yadda yadda. It's not exactly pretty, but it does let me keep my job._

 _Nangi's Autopsy Report_

 _Death caused by drowning after being struck with a sledgehammer. Estimated time of death is between 10 and 12 PM on July 12th._

 _Crime Scene Photo_

 _Shows the victim slumped over in the Pleasure Pool, small and large rocks surrounding her on each side. The victim's blood can be seen mixed into the water along with a large amount of mud. Hardened concrete residue can be seen behind the victim. Yax is lying nearby, unconscious._

 _Oasis Diagram_

 _A simple diagram showing the lobby and the main lounge, with the doors connecting them. The Pleasure Pool is shown in the middle of the lounge. The storeroom is at the back and Nangi's office in the upper-left corner. The renovations area is directly behind the pool, obscured from view. Other attractions like the volleyball court and mud pit are also labeled._

 _Sledgehammer_

 _Used to render the victim unconscious. Blood splatter and location of the wound shows that it was swung from overhead. Was found submerged in the Pleasure Pool after being used by Bellwether to bash open the storeroom. Before which, it was partially submerged already._

 _Renovations Photo_

 _Shows the area the workers were reconstructing after the pipe burst, the pipe itself with a giant hole left in it. A pool of wet concrete shows clear hoofprints. Water is still flowing through._

 _Storeroom Key_

 _A key used by Dawn Bellwether to open the storeroom. Went missing the day of the murder and is believed to have been stolen._

 _Mystic Mojo_

 _A powerful hallucinogen illegally peddled out of the Mystic Spring Oasis. Potential side-effects include memory loss, distortion of time, and asphyxiation through long-term exposure to the physical powder._

 _Yax's Testimony_

 _As Yax was dragged from the lobby to the lounge, he identified the mammal who dragged him as hairy, wet, and with long claws. He also spotted that the water around Nangi was a mix of red, brown, and purple._

 _Sometime_

 _Profiles:_

 _Nick Wilde_

 _Age: 32_

 _Me, myself, and I. I've been a defense attorney for a long time now, but I'm still not exactly what you'd call a professional. Good thing I'm not asking you._

 _Finnick_

 _Age: 35_

 _The ray of sunshine who serves as my co-counsel. He may not be very confident in the job, but he knows how to keep me going in his own special way._

 _Yaxley Matton_

 _Age: 28_

 _A long-time member of the Mystic Spring Oasis, and a firm believer in all things natural. He's a nice guy, but could do a better job keeping his mouth shut. Was found konked out at the crime scene, which is how he got himself arrested._

 _Judy Hopps_

 _Age: 24_

 _The prosecutor on this case. Apparently a big deal out in the sticks, and not exactly the sweet, cuddly bunny I would expect. Seems to have some weird knack for being able to empathize with any species, but clearly not me._

 _Bailey Oates_

 _Age: 46_

 _A veteran detective on the ZPD, but that doesn't mean he's wise with experience. I'd say his old age is getting to him, but it sounds like he's always been kind of a kook._

 _Dawn Bellwether_

 _Age: 36_

 _A neurotic sheep who interns at Mystic Spring in the storeroom. Doesn't have much of a commitment to the lifestyle. May also be slightly insane. And a drug dealer._


	4. Slow and Unsteady

**Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney**

 **Chapter 4:** **Slow and Unsteady**

 **Written by Berserker88**

 **Edited by Mind Jack**

 **Cover art by Quirky Middle-Child**

* * *

 _12: 07 PM_

 _Zootopian Central Courthouse - Defendant Lobby No. 3_

"Yep. It's hopeless." Finnick's brief burst of optimism didn't last. "Seriously, a _sloth?!_ Who's ever going to buy that he's the killer?! All of this based off the testimonies of a hallucinating hippie and a drug-dealing sheep! This is completely, absolutely-!"

"Hey, can you keep it down?" Nick shushed him, staring down at his phone. His eyes hadn't left it since court was adjourned.

It was a wonder how quickly Nick could defuse Finnick's temper through sheer confusion, but that was just one of the reasons why they made a good team. "What are you even doing?"

"Research," he said, skimming through page after page with no end in sight.

"On the case? Who are you and what have you done with Nick Wilde?"

"No, not on the case. On Prosecutor Hopps."

Talented as Nick was at cooling the fennec down, he could incite him again just as easily. "You're doing that _now?!"_

"Doing it during the trial would be rude, Finn."

And back down again. "...Whatever, not like we can do much else anyway until Flash shows up, which could be another few hours. Might as well get some intel on the enemy."

 _(Probably best not to tell him that he was only doing this out of personal curiosity.)_ "Right. You have to know your enemy to win battles for yourself, or however that goes."

"Find anything so far?"

"Not much, aside from a bunch of reports about how great she is. Let's try dropping the prosecutor part and just Zoogle 'Judy Hopps'." He felt much like his predatory ancestors in that moment, just hunting through the web instead of the woods. And it was just as hard to sift through. "Junk...junk...clickbait...junk...oh dear."

"What? Don't tell me your cheap phone crapped out again."

"Not that, just, well...look." Nick turned the screen so his partner could see what he'd come across. It was a scan of an old news article, dated many many years ago.

"The Bunnyburrow Blabbermouth? They have internet in Bunnyburrow?"

Nick found himself unusually annoyed for reasons he couldn't fathom. "The _headline."_

 _Potential Policemammal Pulled Painfully From Pedestal_

"Hopps wanted to hang with the cops? Seems like kind of a step down from prosecutor if you ask me."

"Maybe, but that was her dream," Nick said solemnly. "And it looks like she didn't get to fulfill it."

"Keep reading," Finnick pressed, more interested than he would've liked to seem.

 _(The wonders of the internet.)_ Nick had to squint just to read the old, tiny print.

 _Just this morning, eight year-old Judy Hopps performed at this year's Carrot Days Festival with other members of her class. As they each revealed their lifelong passions, this young girl loudly proclaimed that she would one day be a police officer and make the world a better place. Foolish, perhaps, but noble._

 _Sadly, it was not to be. Barely an hour had passed before this shining beacon of justice challenged local vulpine scoundrel Gideon Grey to protect her friends, already trying to live up to her dream._

"Geez, who wrote this sensationalist bunk, Detective Oates?"

"Actually, it looks like a guy named Stinkman."

"Fitting. Now keep going."

 _According to witnesses, the altercation started over stolen fair tickets and escalated when Judy attempted to swipe them back. It was only natural that a cunning fox would see through such a trick, and in retaliation, savagely attacked her. Even now, she is being treated at the local clinic, in stable condition. While she is expected to make a full recovery, a set of gashes_ _on her cheek from Grey's claws will most likely scar._

"Guess now we know why she's been so aggro against you from the beginning. Can't be easy to face another fox under these circumstances."

Nick just nodded slowly and continued reading. He couldn't stop himself now if he tried.

 _And those aren't the only scars that will remain. The victim's parents, Bonnie and Stu Hopps, shared with us their own opinions on the incident. "We tried to warn her about how dangerous it was for a rabbit to be a police officer," said Stu, "but Judy has always been a fighter, too much for her own good sometimes. It's only now we see how dangerous that kind of attitude really is."_

" _We could have lost our daughter today," added Bonnie, an air of unshakeable tension around them both. "And we can't let something like this happen again. As much as we know it will hurt her now, we have no choice but to forbid her from ever being a cop, or even leaving Bunnyburrow. She'll understand one day. It's for her own good."_

 _With such devastating news waiting for her, only time will tell if Judy Hopps can ever truly recover._

"That's it," Nick finished. "According to everything else I've read, she started training to become a prosecutor barely into adolescence. That must've been the closest she could get to actually being out on the streets."

"What about that other fox, Gideon?"

His claws clicked across the screen with another quick search. He could almost laugh at the result. "In jail for an unrelated assault charge. And guess who was in charge of _that_ case?"

Even Finnick didn't have anything to snark about. "How's about that. To think, she ended up a prosecutor because she wanted to defend the innocent. Fate is funny that way."

"Sure is. Between this and the Junior Ranger Scouts-"

"Enough about the freaking scouts already! That's over and done with now!"

Nick looked down at him, uncharacteristically serious. "Think about it. What if no one had come to my defense back then, and those scouts were actually able to...muzzle me?" He shuddered, thankful he only had to imagine that. "Maybe instead of wanting to do the same for others, I would be just as bitter and jaded as her. I bet she sees that connection too. Sees in me what she wishes she could do herself. No wonder I piss her off so much." He put the phone away, unable to look at it anymore. _(Now I know the enemy AND myself. I guess that's a victory?)_

"Not to spoil your philosophy hour, but we do need to figure out what we're going to do about Flash."

"Oh, I'll tell you what we're gonna do," Nick smirked, returning to his usual self in no time as he ruffled Finnick's head, and quickly withdrew before he no longer had a finger to point with. "We're going to kick his butt, legal style, then celebrate with some Bug Burgas!"

"So you don't actually have a plan?" Despite everything, he laughed. "Some things never change. Alright, Nick, let's do this thing."

"Hi-four?"

"Don't push it."

 _(This is it. The trial is about to end, one way or another. You want to know what it's like on this side of the courtroom, Carrots? You're about to find out.)_

* * *

 _12: 38 PM_

 _Zootopian Central Courthouse - Courtroom No. 2_

"Court is back in session!" Clawhauser announced, much more exuberantly this time. "Even better, so is my appetite! To make up for lost ground, feast your eyes on my Double Jeopardy, Double Buttercream Surprise!" He proudly showed off the two donuts that now occupied his gavel before immediately digging into them.

 _(Happy Clawhauser is good for us, right?)_ He shared a shrug with Finnick, both agreeing it was better not to acknowledge it. "Then...may I ask the results of the pool analysis?"

"What do _you_ think?" Judy snapped, a bit more harshly than needed. If his analysis of _her_ was correct, this latest turnabout wasn't making her happy. "It is exactly as you surmised: the waters of the Pleasure Pool were contaminated with Mystic Mojo, enough that it certainly could have been fatal after a long bath."

 _(So the pool was filled with blood, mud, and crud. Hate to be whoever has to clean that up.)_

Clawhauser nodded, his mouth full. "I shee! Sho ta sedgehamma atta weally wath falth?"

The strain was becoming more and more evident. " _Yes,_ Your Honor. While it was assumed that the blow came before the victim's death, the events were close enough together that it is possible it could have been the other way around in light of this new information."

 _Autopsy Report updated in the Court Record_

He nodded again and swallowed, oblivious to her annoyance. "And what about the new witness, Mr. Weston? Were you able to subpoena him?"

At that, Judy's frown turned upside-down, an instant red flag for the defense. "Indeed I have. In fact, it was easier than expected. Mr. Weston has been a member of the gallery this whole time."

 _(Meaning he's seen the events of the entire trial, which already makes him more dangerous than Bellwether...)_

"That sure makes things easy!" Clawhauser grinned. "Then you may call him to the stand, Prosecutor Hopps."

"I already have. About five minutes ago."

"Huh? Then where…?" He trailed off, comprehension dawning on him, and the rest of the courtroom. A familiar grey shape emerged, very slowly, from the gallery, walking towards the witness stand. It would have felt like an eternity regardless, especially with Judy's obvious pleasure at his discomfort.

Finally, the sloth made it to the stand and took a minute, literally, to wave at the defense. "Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick."

"Hi, Flash." _(Win or lose, trips to the DMV are going to be awkward.)_

"Witness, please state your name and occupation," Judy said. "And take your time, there's no rush."

He smiled in appreciation, taking those words very much to heart. "My...name is...Flash...Weston...and I...work at...the DMV."

"As well as Mystic Spring?" asked Nick, trying to at least keep the court on the right track. "I have to say, for as much as I've seen you, I had no idea you were a naturalist."

"Why...do you think...they call me...Flash?"

 _(Scratch that, it's already awkward.)_ "A-Anyway, you teach aerobics there, right?"

"...No."

"No?" _(Was that a hesitant pause or just a normal one?)_

"The witness lost his job the day of the murder," Judy explained. "I have the supporting documentation right here." She proceeded to pass around yet another piece of evidence she had stored away, though Nick was a bit more hopeful about this one.

It was a simple notice of termination addressed to Flash, marked with Nangi's signature and a large, hoof-shaped stamp with red ink. It didn't list much in the way of specifics, only that the sloth had been fired for "disturbing and unnatural teaching methods." _(Do I even want to know what that means?)_

 _Notice of Termination added to the Court Record._

Clawhauser pulled out a full box of donuts and placed it on the bench, followed by two more, knowing they would need to last him a while. "And you believe this to be a motive for murder?"

"No, Your Honor, but I'm sure Mr. Wilde does."

"Of course I do!" Nick said shamelessly. "Not only that, it tells me exactly how Flash could have gotten into the crime scene in the first place. Because if he was fired that day, he still might have had his keys on him!"

Flash didn't even twitch. "So what...if I...did?"

"...Huh?" _(He's just flat-out admitting it?)_

"Indeed...I had to...return...my keys...that night," he said. "But that...is all...I did."

"You think we're just gonna buy that?"

"As a matter of fact, I _do,"_ Judy stated firmly. "Even after I considered the possibility of him being a suspect."

"You were just as gung-ho as I was about getting him up here," he pointed out. " _More_ actually. So why are you suddenly dismissing that possibility now?"

"Allow me to demonstrate. Mr. Weston, do you have anything to say about the allegations that you killed Ms. Nangi?"

"...I...did...not…"

"Do you expect me to back down?" Nick asked. "Because I don't care what-"

"...kill her…"

"Because I don't care what-"

"...that night."

"Because I don't care what species he is, he's a suspect all the same to me!" _(Okay, so maybe I care a LITTLE bit.)_

"I expected nothing less," she said, shaking her head. "But if that won't sway you, then perhaps this will." She looked towards the witness, who was still processing her first sentence. "If you could, please explain for the court what you told me outside."

His expression shifted slowly from sadness, to understanding, to smiling. "You see...I was...a witness...to the…"

There was complete silence as everyone leaned in just a bit closer.

"...murder."

"WHAT?!" _(How much time did she HAVE with him?)_ "And you're just coming forward with this now?!"

"If you were a sloth, perhaps you would understand," Judy said shortly, "just how stressful it would be to face a police interrogation when it takes such an effort just to speak. They have a hard enough life without being accused of murder, you know."

"I told you, I'm not backing down!" he insisted. "So let's hear a testimony already! Er...when you're up for it, Flash."

"No...problem…"

 _Witness Testimony - The Night...of the...Crime_

 _I came...to the club...at about…_

 _...10:00...to drop off...my keys._

 _But I saw...that no one...was there._

 _So I...looked around...and opened...the door…_

 _...to the lounge._

 _Inside...I saw Yax...and Nangi._

 _He was...holding...the bloody...sledgehammer._

 _I was afraid...so I…quickly…_

… _._

 _...left._

Clawhauser was snoozing peacefully, only to be awoken by a quick jab from Bogo. "Huh? O-Oh, is the testimony over? That was very, uh, informative, witness."

Finnick yawned a bit himself. "For someone who takes so long to make a point, he sure can talk."

"This could take a while, and not just because he's a sloth. I'm not sure I have a way to refute that."

"In the spirit of fairness, I will give you all the time you need," Judy told him. "Because no matter how you look at it, a sloth could _not_ capably murder someone. Let's see you try to twist _that_ logic around, Wilde."

 _(I don't even get a 'Mr.' anymore? This bunny seriously has it out for me.)_

Flash let out a series of low, single laughs. "Yes...let's see...if you can…"

"I don't need to hear it again! Your Honor, I will begin my cross-examination."

"Okaaaay," he said wearily, seconds from falling asleep again.

"...twist this…"

"I'm starting, I'm starting!"

 _Cross-Examination - The Night...of the...Crime_

 _I came...to the club...at about…_

 _...10:00...to drop off...my keys._

 **Hold it!**

"Carrots, can you confirm if the witness's keys were actually found on scene?"

"I hate to burst your bubble…"

 _(Liar.)_

"...but we did indeed find them inside the front desk."

"Alright, then maybe Flash can tell us how the front door was still locked when he left."

"That's because...you can...lock the door...behind you."

If Nick thought he was on a roll, it came to a screeching halt instantly. "That...that's seriously it?" _(If only more mammals had doors like that, there'd be a lot less locked room mysteries to solve.)_

"Well?" Judy asked. "I believe you were about to make a point of some kind?"

"Uh...I think that's worth adding to the testimony."

Finnick paled. "You want to make this _longer?"_

"Relax, I know what I'm doing. Mostly."

 _The door...could be locked...without them._

 _But I saw...that no one...was there._

 **Hold it!**

"According to Yax's testimony, he should have still been on guard duty at that point."

"But this was also around the point when he was high on Mystic Mojo," Judy replied. "One of the drug's side-effects is a distorted sense of time. So it's also possible that he had left the room before the witness showed up."

"Even so, I can't help but notice that the witness's physical description matches up well with the assailant Yax spoke of. What do you have to say to _that_ , Mr. Hairy Long-Claws?"

"...No comment."

 _(Did he really need that long of a pause just to blow me off?)_

"The witness won't respond to that because he doesn't need to," said Judy. "Which is more credible: an eye-witness account or the defendant's flights of fancy?"

"You seriously gotta stop using that as evidence," Finnick advised.

"But it's the best evidence we have."

"Which sums up our law firm in a nutshell."

"Nevertheless, Flash, please clarify that statement for us."

 _Yax...must have...already...been gone._

 **Hold it!**

"If that's the case, then the incense that contained the Mystic Mojo should have also been there."

"Actually...it wasn't."

"Then you must have stolen it to cover your tracks. That's the only way it could have disappeared."

"So little imagination for someone with such a penchant for nonsense," Judy mocked. "Who knows what the defendant could have done with the incense in his state? He could have even eaten it."

 _(Honestly...I wouldn't be surprised to see him eat glass.)_

"Even if the witness _did_ take the incense, it doesn't prove he put it there in the first place."

Finnick smirked. "Really thought you had something there, huh?"

"...No."

 _So I...looked around...and opened...the door._

 **Hold it!**

Nick lowered his finger, realizing he had jumped the gun. "Heh, sorry. Thought I timed that better."

"Perhaps you'd like to rewind and try that again," Judy said sardonically

 _(I think I'd rather a fast-forward.)_

 _...to the lounge._

 **Hold it!**

"Which would put you where that door was located on the diagram?"

"That is...absolutely...correct...Nick."

 _(Just say yes!)_ "But nobody saw you?"

"No...it was...only open...a crack."

"Hmm, think you can add that to the testimony?"

"Nick, are you trying to break some kind of record here?" Finnick asked impatiently.

"All part of the plan, Finn."

"Well, just so you know, His Honor has fallen asleep again."

Clawhauser snored loudly.

"That won't be a problem once-"

"So has the bailiff. And the gallery."

Many more snores filled the air.

"I work better with a smaller crowd anyway."

But Prosecutor Hopps remained alert as ever. "It'll be even smaller when you lose your badge."

 _...to the lounge...I was...standing...right at...the entrance._

 _Inside...I saw Yax...and Nangi._

 _He was...holding...the bloody...sledgehammer._

 **Hold it!**

"Can you describe that in more detail?" He tried to ignore Finnick's groans of despair.

"He seemed...dazed...and unaware...of his...surroundings."

"And yet he was able to hide the weapon in a way that wouldn't implicate him?"

"...Yes."

"Did you see him hide it?"

"...No."

"Then you're just basing this on what we already know?"

The delay made it hard to tell, but somewhere along the line, Flash has started to frown. "What...is with...all these... _questions?"_

"Just trying to get a clear picture," he said innocently. "I mean, you say you _witnessed_ the murder, but isn't this all just hearsay? Not really what I'd call decisive…"

Judy was ready to fire back, but to her surprise, Flash beat her to the punch. "I saw...the defendant...I saw...the hammer...I saw...the hoofprints...do I need...to say...more?"

"Actually, yes. Please add that bit to your testimony."

"... _Fine."_

 _I saw...the defendant...I saw...the hammer...I saw...the hoofprints..._

 **Objection!**

It was hard not to sigh in relief. "Flash, Flash, Hundred-Yard Testimony, I've finally got you."

"How...do you...figure?"

"As you clearly stated before, you were watching this from the entrance to the lounge, right where the door is located on the diagram." He tapped his forehead. "But therein lies the problem. Because from that spot, the renovations area would've been concealed by the rock wall!"

Flash did not react. Yet.

"Wait, so you dragging this out like that actually had a point?" Finnick asked skeptically.

"Of course. Even the most stubborn witnesses let their guard down eventually. It was just a matter of pressing him for info until he finally slipped up." _(Granted, that only became the plan halfway through…)_

The sloth remained expressionless.

"You mean to say you got a _sloth_ to lose his patience? That's...actually kinda impressive."

 **Objection!**

"The witness got the events of the trial mixed up with his own memory," Judy explained. "Your incessant badgering doesn't prove a thing."

"All I did was press for info, Carrots. Nothing wrong with that." The pure smarm that radiated from his voice was an added bonus. "But if that's not good enough for you, I can prove the witness was the one who actually wielded the hammer."

Flash's face shifted into a frown.

"What?! Now you _have_ to be bluffing!"

"I didn't make the connection at first, but there's something that ties Flash to that very spot. And you yourself showed it to us."

 **Take that!**

"The...letter of termination?" she asked curiously. "Even if that serves as a motive, it's no evidence."

"I beg to differ. It's not the words I'm focused on, but the stamp."

"The...the stamp?" It didn't take her long to see it herself. "That big, hoof shape...You mean to say that's what was used to create the hoofprints in the concrete?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. And from that position, it would be all too easy for him to grab the sledgehammer and complete his frame job."

Flash's eyes widened and his jaw dropped open.

Clawhauser, who had finally been woken by all the shouting along with the rest of the court, needed a moment to catch up. "Oh, I get it now! That totally makes sense!"

Judy slammed her fist hard onto the bench. "No it doesn't!"

"Just look at him!" Nick pointed to the frozen shock on Flash's face. "Does that _look_ innocent to you?"

They all watched as Flash gradually lost that expression, and in half a minute was back to normal. "What...are you ...talking...about?"

 _(I'm guessing he never plays poker.)_

Clawhauser nodded right along with all of this. "So those hoofprints really were just fake after all?"

"Of course, Your Honor. With that fabrication, Flash threw off the entire investigation to disguise the real murder method. Maybe he thought the Mystic Mojo would be more easily pinned to him. Slow-acting murder, slow-acting mammal, it's only natural."

 **Hold…...it!**

Sometime during Nick's latest monologue, Flash had taken in a breath to shout, and now he finally released it, instantly silencing the courtroom.

 _(Eesh. Gotta remember he's slow, not silent.)_

Despite the increasing suspicion around him, Flash remained calm as he raised a paw into the air. "Prosecutor...I want...my...special request."

"Already?" she asked, hesitantly. "Alright...I will respect your wishes. Bailiff, fetch the pot."

Bogo sighed and headed out of the room. "I'm a buffalo, not a gopher," he muttered.

Nick was immediately suspicious. "Special request? What is he talking about?"

"When I was prepping the witness in the lobby, he wanted me to prepare for him a certain beverage to help him in case he had difficulty getting his points across."

"We don't allow alcohol in the hall of justice," Clawhauser cautioned.

"Nothing like that, Your Honor. Just a specially-made coffee from Snarlbucks."

Nick laughed. "Coffee? I'm sure he appreciates your amazing empathy, but there isn't enough caffeine on the planet to speed _this_ up."

"Regardless, he has requested a pot of the experimental new 'Super Lightning Blitz 2000'. According to the witness himself, it really does the job."

"Uh huh."

Bogo returned shortly thereafter, wheeling out a cart with a large pot of coffee resting on it. He poured a cup and handed it to Flash, straining his patience as he waited for him to grab it.

"Thank...you…" the sloth said, raising the cup up to his lips and starting to drink. Before Nick could even wonder how long this was going to take, the slow gulps of Flash's throat began to get faster and faster, until he was practically chugging the beverage down. With a contented sigh, he slammed the cup back onto the cart. The whole court watched as he took a few, deep breaths, then raised his head to the sky and, "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

With that shout, Flash's fur was suddenly standing on end and turned a vibrant red. He reached up and spiked the fur on top of his head into a distinct lightning bolt shape, then pulled out a headband and snapped it on underneath. When he was done, he shot a wide smile and thumbs-up at the stunned crowd. "Alright, everyone! Let's get those bodies moving!"

* * *

 _As you can probably tell, this final witness is going to be a handful. What exactly made me decide to use Flash for the role of the killer? Nothing really, except I tried to think of the most bizarre Zootopia character possible and that was that. If you don't get the joke behind his last name of "Weston", you just don't know your comics well enough. (I have since become aware that his official last name is "Slothmore", but that wasn't as fun and would've spoiled the reveal.)_

 _That aside, you're probably more interested in the vaguely-revealed backstories of this Nick and Judy. I'm afraid that's about all you're getting, but it does touch on something I find fascinating about this entire compilation. More on that next time._

 _Also, you may have noticed a cameo from a certain pun-gent reporter. Though if you ask me, the reality where he works at ZNN seems like the better deal._

 _Court Record:_

 _Attorney's Badge_

 _The symbol of my profession, icon of my status, yadda yadda. It's not exactly pretty, but it does let me keep my job._

 _Nangi's Autopsy Report_

 _Death caused by Mystic Mojo poisoning, prior to being struck with a sledgehammer post-mortem. Estimated time of death is between 10 and 12 PM on July 12th._

 _Crime Scene Photo_

 _Shows the victim slumped over in the Pleasure Pool, small and large rocks surrounding her on each side. The victim's blood can be seen mixed into the water along with a large amount of mud. Hardened concrete residue can be seen behind the victim. Yax is lying nearby, unconscious._

 _Oasis Diagram_

 _A simple diagram showing the lobby and the main lounge, with the doors connecting them. The Pleasure Pool is shown in the middle of the lounge. The storeroom is at the back and Nangi's office in the upper-left corner. The renovations area is directly behind the pool, obscured from view. Other attractions like the volleyball court and mud pit are also labeled._

 _Sledgehammer_

 _Used to render the victim unconscious. Blood splatter and location of the wound shows that it was swung from overhead. Was found submerged in the Pleasure Pool after being used by Bellwether to bash open the storeroom. Before which, it was partially submerged already._

 _Renovations Photo_

 _Shows the area the workers were reconstructing after the pipe burst, the pipe itself with a giant hole left in it. A pool of wet concrete shows clear hoofprints. Water is still flowing through._

 _Storeroom Key_

 _A key used by Dawn Bellwether to open the storeroom. Went missing the day of the murder and is believed to have been stolen._

 _Mystic Mojo_

 _A powerful hallucinogen illegally peddled out of the Mystic Spring Oasis. Potential side-effects include memory loss, distortion of time, and asphyxiation through long-term exposure to the physical powder._

 _Yax's Testimony_

 _As Yax was dragged from the lobby to the lounge, he identified the mammal who dragged him as hairy, wet, and with long claws. He also spotted that the water around Nangi was a mix of red, brown, and purple._

 _Notice of Termination_

 _A notice from Nangi informing Flash that he was fired for "disturbing and unnatural teaching methods". Marked with a hoof-shaped stamp._

 _Profiles:_

 _Nick Wilde_

 _Age: 32_

 _Me, myself, and I. I've been a defense attorney for a long time now, but I'm still not exactly what you'd call a professional. Good thing I'm not asking you._

 _Finnick_

 _Age: 35_

 _The ray of sunshine who serves as my co-counsel. He may not be very confident in the job, but he knows how to keep me going in his own special way._

 _Yaxley Matton_

 _Age: 28_

 _A long-time member of the Mystic Spring Oasis, and a firm believer in all things natural. He's a nice guy, but could do a better job keeping his mouth shut. Was found konked out at the crime scene, which is how he got himself arrested._

 _Judy Hopps_

 _Age: 24_

 _The prosecutor on this case. Apparently a big deal out in the sticks, and not exactly the sweet, cuddly bunny I would expect. Seems to have some weird knack for being able to empathize with any species, but clearly not me._

 _Bailey Oates_

 _Age: 46_

 _A veteran detective on the ZPD, but that doesn't mean he's wise with experience. I'd say his old age is getting to him, but it sounds like he's always been kind of a kook._

 _Dawn Bellwether_

 _Age: 36_

 _A neurotic sheep who interns at Mystic Spring in the storeroom. Doesn't have much of a commitment to the lifestyle. May also be slightly insane. And a drug dealer._

 _Flash Weston_

 _Age: 30_

 _A sloth who works at the DMV, and once at Mystic Spring apparently. He was an aerobics instructor, which didn't work out, but not for the reasons you'd think._


	5. The Naked Truth

**Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney**

 **Chapter 5: The Naked Truth**

 **Written by Berserker88**

 **Edited by Mind Jack**

 **Cover art by Quirky Middle-Child**

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Any humor Nick saw in Flash chugging down a cup of coffee quickly turned to horror. _(And they say I'M a different mammal before my cup o' joe.)_

"Holy crap, he's talking at normal speed," Finnick said, staring wide-eyed at the...being in front of them.

"Correction, he's talking at sloth super speed."

Judy struggled to keep her cool demeanor in check, which was hard enough for her already. "I must admit...this reaction is more extreme than I expected."

And then, to their shared wonder, he started doing jumping jacks. "Come on, don't be shy, just follow after me! One, two, one, two, one, two…"

"One, two, one, tw-aaaaaaagh!" Clawhauser didn't make it very far before he collapsed on his bench. "I'm cramping up! Bailiff, save me!" Bogo just rolled his eyes.

"Impressed?!" Flash asked, now gripping the witness stand and running in place like he was on a treadmill. "So was I! Never did I think I would find such a perfect stimulant to get even a sloth movin' and groovin'! I've finally reached my fullest potential!"

Nick was just trying to find his voice again, not helped by getting shouted at. "I take it Nangi thought otherwise?" _(Because 'disturbing and unnatural' certainly comes to mind here.)_

"Yeah, can you believe it?! But I don't need that old hack anyway! This is the way of the future!"

The fox slammed his desk, glaring at him. "Sorry, but the only future you're going to have is behind bars. Unless you think you'll squat thrust your way out of this."

"And streeeeeeeeeeeetch!" Flash extended his arms high into the air, then let them fall at his sides. "Now let's not get ahead of ourselves, Nicky Boy! I've barely broken a sweat so far!"

 _(Nicky...Boy?)_

"While the witness's behavior is certainly unusual, it is hardly proof of anything," Judy stated. "Other than the fact that Mystic Mojo may not be the only drug we need to worry about..."

"That's right!" Flash laughed. "You've got nothing but conjecture and I've got...I've got…...I've…" He trailed off, both his speech and movements starting to slow. As quickly as he could, he refilled his cup of coffee and threw it into his mouth. In an instant, he was back. "I've got evidence that I _can't_ be the killer!"

 _(He needs a recharge already? It must take him like 17 cups to get through a class.)_ "Really? Care to enlighten us?"

"Of course!" He whipped out an exercise bungee, pumping his arms back and forth. "I'm here to enlighten your minds and bodies! Now listen closely!"

 _Witness Testimony - Let's Start With a Warm-up!_

 _You're saying that I whacked ol' Nangi with that hammer, right?!_

 _Too bad there's no way I could've done that!_

 _See, I wasn't like this the night of the murder!_

 _And as my usual, slothy self, I couldn't muster the speed to land that kinda blow!_

 _That's the power of exercise for ya!_

"While I am uncomfortable with the witness's attitude," Clawhauser said slowly, "and the power of exercise, his reasoning is sound."

Nick glared at the sloth incredulously. "You expect us to believe that you weren't using your stimulant the night of the murder?"

"What, you think I just carried around this whole pot with me?! As you've already seen, this stuff wears off way too fast to rely on for long bursts like that!"

"What if you just put it in a water bottle or something? If you timed it out well enough, you could still pull it off."

"Sorry, but no," Judy answered back. "According to witnesses at Mr. Weston's last class, he went through his entire supply before he was fired."

"And it wore off soon after!" Flash added. "Guess I really gave it my all! Shame Nangi didn't see it that way!"

"How did you even have time to ask about that?" He shook his head in annoyance. "Well, whatever. I'll find a way!"

"I dunno, Nick," Finnick said. "I don't think he's lying about the coffee."

"I don't either," he admitted. "But in that case, the question isn't how Flash could've gotten a boost, it's how he might have delivered that blow even if he couldn't."

"You really think that's possible?"

"To quote Slylock Holmes, once you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. That, and I've already figured it out."

"You better not tell me it's elementary."

"Nah, more like junior high."

 _Cross-Examination - Let's Start With a Warm-up!_

 _You're saying that I whacked ol' Nangi with that hammer, right?!_

 _Too bad there's no way I could've done that!_

 _See, I wasn't like this the night of the murder!_

 _And as my usual, slothy self, I couldn't muster the speed to land that kinda blow!_

 **Objection!**

"Now who said anything about speed? There's more than one way you could strike her with that level of force."

"The witness couldn't so much as throw a ball," Judy argued. "Which is terrible, by the way. Point is, he would be unable to build up enough momentum to leave such a strong blow on the victim's head. Unless you're trying to contradict the laws of physics now."

"Not at all. In fact, let's do an experiment."

"You're mocking me, aren't you?"

Nick lifted both arms into the air, high above his head. "Repeat after me, everyone."

"Hey, _I'm_ the instructor here!" Flash protested. "You can't...just…" He could no longer argue on account of needing another cup.

"Heeeeey, everybody!" Clawhauser called from his spot up top. "Come on, Bailiff, join the fun!"

"No."

"Come on, Finnick, join the fun," Nick said.

"No!"

What is this supposed to prove?" asked Judy, following after him anyway. "I know you're dying to tell us."

"Patience, Carrots. Now, imagine you're holding up a heavy object in this position. Such as, just off the top of my head, a sledgehammer."

Clawhauser squeed loudly. "Oooooooooh, I can even replicate that!" He lifted his gavel up high, waving the sugary weapon around menacingly.

"Your Honor, say those donuts were about twenty pounds each. If you wanted to bang your gavel right now, how much effort would it take you?"

"Let's see...WOAH!" He let out a shriek as the gavel swung down and struck the bench of its own accord.

 _(He knows that was only hypothetical, right?)_ "You may recall that the victim was struck by an overhead swing, exactly what you just performed."

"What are you saying?!" the feline panicked. "I'm not the killer, I swear!"

Judy sighed. "I believe what Mr. Wilde is taking too long to explain is that it wouldn't matter how fast you could swing the hammer. From that position, with that kind of weight, gravity and momentum would do the job for you. Is that correct?"

"Well...yes." _(Even when I'm right, she has to show me up.)_

Flash was sweating, so profusely that he stretched out and squeezed his headband trying to get it out. "Ermm...maybe it's time we took a break?"

"The only thing I'm planning to break is your web of lies." Nick pointed savagely. "Because I've now proven that even a sloth could commit this murder!"

Mid-stretch, Flash's eyes widened and he lost his grip on his headband, causing it to snap back into his face. "YOOOOOOOOW!"

Judy was pensive, glancing uncomfortably down at her desk. "Is it...possible? Could he really have…?"

"I guess anyone really _can_ be anything, even a murderer," Clawhauser mused, trying to see how many more donuts he could fit on his gavel now. "Gazelle would be so disappointed."

"Hey!" Flash shouted. "HeyheyheyheyHEY! Break time's over! Let's get back into the groove!"

"I'm surprised you still have any groove left in you," said Nick. "Let me guess, you want to revise your testimony again?"

Flash leaped up, landing on a giant exercise ball that rolled in from...somewhere. "You bet, Nicky Boy! And this time, I'm on the ball!"

 _(That was bad even by MY standards.)_ "By all means, please keep digging yourself deeper."

"I admit, that's some well-toned logic you're flexing there! But there's one thing you haven't accounted for!" He smirked widely, balancing on his new platform. "Listen up, everyone! It's time to move on to the next stage of the program! Try to keep up!"

 _Witness Testimony - Now Streeeeeeetch Those Thinking Muscles!_

 _Maybe I could have used the hammer, but I couldn't have even made it that far!_

 _The lobby was unguarded when I came in, but what if it wasn't?!_

 _Drugged or not, I couldn't risk Yax getting a good look at me if I wanted to murder someone!_

 _Even if I got past him, Nangi would have seen me too!_

 _So the idea that I just waltzed in there and did all this is ridiculous!_

The doubt cleared from Judy's face as she thought this over. "Yes...yes, he's right. Such a plan would be far too risky for anyone to attempt, especially a sloth."

"I prefer to deal in facts, not assumptions, Carrots."

"Since _when?"_ Finnick asked.

"So I'll be starting my Cross-Examination now."

Judy frowned, but otherwise made no attempt at banter. "...Proceed."

 _(What's with her?)_

 _Cross-Examination - Now Streeeeeeetch Those Thinking Muscles!_

 _Maybe I could have used the hammer, but I couldn't have even made it that far!_

 _The lobby was unguarded when I came in, but what if it wasn't?!_

 _Drugged or not, I couldn't risk Yax getting a good look at me if I wanted to murder someone!_

 **Hold it!**

"According to Yax's testimony, the perpetrator grabbed him from behind. If you had done that, you could have dragged him into the lounge without him seeing you."

"Yeah?! Then how did I get in, smart guy?!"

"Clearly, you must've already been on the scene and come out from the lounge."

"Again... _how?!"_

 _(Bluff servers online, executing program.)_ "You could have hidden somewhere in the lobby, waited for Yax to fall under the Mojo's influence, then slipped in when he wasn't watching."

"Not bad!" he laughed. "Like me, you really know how to work things out!" His laughter started to slow and he threw down another cup to pick it back up again. "But then…"

 _Even if I got past him, Nangi would have seen me too!_

 **Hold it!**

"What if Nangi wasn't yet in the room? She could have still been having dinner in her office."

"Ah, but Yax was patrolling the whole area at that time! No way would he have missed me then!"

 _(Urgh, if it's not one, it's the other.)_ "Maybe he just didn't notice…" He watched Flash's eye twitch uncontrollably. "...nevermind."

 _So the idea that I just waltzed in there and did all this is ridiculous!_

"Not exactly the stealthy type, is he?" Finnick grunted.

"I'm sure he's quiet enough, _without_ the coffee, but unless he could stay out of sight from both Yax and Nangi, he would have been caught long before he could do anything. Emphasis on _long._ "

"So when could he have gotten in there to pour the powder? Sounds like _someone_ was going to be lurking around the lounge no matter when he tried it."

 _(When could he have done it? While Yax was in the lounge, or while Nangi was?)_ As Nick pondered this question, the answer occurred to him almost spontaneously.

 _Maybe I could have used the hammer, but I couldn't have even made it that far!_

 _The lobby was unguarded when I came in, but what if it wasn't?!_

 _Drugged or not, I couldn't risk Yax getting a good look at me if I wanted to murder someone!_

 _Even if I got past him, Nangi would have seen me too!_

 **Hold it!**

"Actually...Nangi would have already had to be in the pool when she was poisoned. That's the only way this makes sense."

Finnick raised an eyebrow. "Huh? How does _that_ make sense? I don't care how relaxed she was, he couldn't just walk up and dump that junk in her bath."

"Sure...unless that's just what he _wants_ us to think."

The fennec stared at him for several seconds. "You know what, I'm not even gonna ask. Just make your case and get it over with."

"I'm inclined to agree with your diminutive co-counsel," Judy said, ignoring the death glare he shot at her. "But I suppose I'll bite. Why must the victim have been poisoned during her bath?"

 **Take that!**

"Yax's testimony should tell you that much. Recall that the Mystic Mojo turned the pool purple on the night of the murder. Would _you_ climb into a bath like that?"

"Hmmm...a fair point. However, it doesn't prove how the witness could have done it."

"Oh, I beg to differ. I believe this proves _exactly_ how he did it."

She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. "How?"

"I think she's learned to trust my hunches," he whispered over to Finnick.

"I think she's just resigned to the insanity."

" _Today,_ Wilde!"

"Let's say that Flash was able to get by Yax and into the lounge when Nangi was bathing. By that point, she would have been in the middle of her trance and thus, couldn't see him."

"This bears a striking amount of resemblance to an assumption, but do go on."

"Now, like you said, going right up to the victim to poison her was another matter entirely. There's no telling how easily she could have been alerted to his presence or that of the Mystic Mojo. But if we combine that with what I've theorized already, it suddenly makes sense."

"You mean your dribble about the witness making the hoofprints? How is that connected?"

"If I may draw the court's attention back to the renovations photo," he said, glancing down at it himself. "There's one particular area I think we should reexamine."

 **Got it!**

"Specifically, the exposed opening you can see in the pipeline. Am I correct in assuming that this pipe flows directly into the Pleasure Pool?"

Judy squinted at the image. "Yes, I do believe that is...arrrrrrrrrgh!" Her poor ears were really getting mangled today.

"I see both your eyesight and insight are as good as expected, Carrots. For if Flash were to pour the Mojo into this opening, he could distribute it straight into Nangi's bath while safely hidden behind the rock wall. And in her current state, she wouldn't even notice the water changing color until it was too late. What do you think of _that_ , Flash?"

The sloth was suddenly having trouble keeping his balance, wobbling around like he would fall any second. "I...I think the intensity of this program is set higher than expected..."

But he didn't fall. What he did was reach down to grab himself another caffeinated shot, down it in one gulp, then scream like a banshee. "THIS IS _MY_ CLASS!"

"Funny, you seem to be the only one getting sch-ack!" Nick quickly ducked the incoming projectile Flash had just punted at him. Finnick didn't need to, lazily watching the exercise ball barely brush his ears, then roll away into the ether from which it came.

Clawhauser weakly banged his gavel. "Uh...I don't think that's allowed…" Bogo snorted in agreement, and probably would have done more if it was anyone but Nick.

"Sorry, must be all this pent-up energy!" Flash said, as if that explained anything. "I just get soooooo into the groove sometimes that I gotta let it out!"

 _(Which I'm sure also contributed to you being fired.)_ "Then do you have a _less_ violent response to my claims?"

"Actually, I think it's about time I came clean!"

"...Excuse me?"

He didn't exactly _look_ defeated. "That's right! One of my earlier testimonies! I told a lie!"

"One...singular...lie."

"Yeah!"

"Well, don't leave us in suspense," Judy said dryly. "What lie did you tell?"

His giant, shit-eating grin didn't look very defeated either. "I lied...about when I returned my keys!"

 _(He wouldn't. He SERIOUSLY wouldn't.)_

He did. "You see, I didn't actually come back that night at all! I returned my keys before I left the Oasis and never looked back! Sorry about the confusion, I just thought it would be fun to be a witness!"

Clawhauser banged again, harder. "I'll have you know that perjury is a serious crime!" He burst out laughing. "Sorry, couldn't say that with a straight face."

"I'm not buying it," Nick said, trying hard to remain confident. "You wouldn't have let things go this far if you really had an alibi."

"Oh really?! Then how about one last testimony to send you off?! Let's see you run your mouth after this, Nicky Boy!"

 _Witness Testimony - Gonna Kick Ya in the Glutes!_

 _That's right, I was never actually at the scene!_

 _I returned my keys to the front desk before I left!_

 _So I couldn't have gotten back in commit the murder!_

 _Which means that the drug theft, the poisoning, the hammering…_

 _...It was all done by Yax! That's all there is to it!_

He finished it off with an air of finality that exerted supreme confidence. And a belch.

Nick tried to ignore the feeling of dread that crept over him. _(Ugh, that DOES sound pretty convincing.)_

But more shocking to him was that Judy remained silent, even though she should have been rubbing this in his face right now.

"Nick, focus!" Finnick yelled, literally slapping some sense back into him. "We've come too far for you to give up now! So get in there and tear Richard Simoose a new one!"

He smiled. "Thanks, Finn. You really know how to cheer a guy up."

"Whatever."

He took one last look at Judy, who didn't seem to be paying him any attention at all, then prepared for the fight of his life.

"Mr. Wilde, you may begin the cross-examination," Clawhauser said, also curious how this would turn out.

"So you're still not burnt out, eh?!" Flash taunted. "Then let's make this one special!" He pulled out a small radio and placed it on the stand before flicking it on. The machine started to play an intense, rhythmic beat as the sloth moved in sync. "Just try to keep up!"

 _Cross-Examination - Gonna Kick Ya in the Glutes!_

 _That's right, I was never actually at the scene!_

 **Hold it!**

"Then why were you trying so hard to pin Yax as the killer?"

"Because he _is_ the killer! I was just trying to do my civic duty, even if my methods were a bit dishonest!"

 _(It's a little late to try to make yourself look good.)_ "By wasting our time with a made-up testimony?!"

"Hey, if you just accepted it to begin with, we'd still be at this same point regardless! You're the one who kept derailing it by labeling _me_ the killer!"

"I think...you may be missing the point."

"Well at least I've got one!"

 _(Ouch.)_

He grinned back at him smugly, striking a pose. "I should've warned ya, exercise with me and you're gonna feel the _burn!"_

 _I returned my keys to the front desk before I left!_

 **Hold it!**

"Can you prove that?"

"What, do I look like I have the records on me?!" Still dancing, he pointed two thumbs over his shoulders. "Maybe you should ask Yax! I'm sure he could tell you the _exact_ time that I left my keys with him!"

"It was...Yax that you gave them to?" That dread was coming back again.

"Go ahead, see if I'm bluffing!" he challenged.

 _(As a renowned expert on the subject, I'm inclined to believe...that he isn't. Damn.)_

 _So I couldn't have gotten back in commit the murder!_

 **Hold it!**

"What if you used a way other than the front door? Like the open roof?"

"I teach aerobics, not rock climbing! I may be arboreal, but that's better suited to an _actual_ jungle than the concrete one!"

He was getting really sick of all the yelling. "Then...you could have used a ladder or something."

"And what, _jump_ into the lounge?!" He took the time to jump into the air as high as he could, then pantomime himself splatting against the ground before resuming his dance. "One dead body is enough, thanks!"

 _(Guess a stepladder wouldn't help either.)_ "...Continue."

 _Which means that the drug theft, the poisoning, the hammering…_

 **Hold it!**

"Now who's to say for sure this is all related?" _(Okay, now I KNOW I'm getting desperate.)_

" _You_ did, Nicky Boy! Are you going to go back on your own theories now and take a page out of the prosecutor's book?!"

Judy herself had no comment, aside from a look of complete disdain.

"H-Hey, I'm just saying, maybe we need to rethink this a bit. I mean, some of these connections are tenuous at best and the evidence is somewhat lacking…" He stopped abruptly.

Clawhauser tilted his head. "Were you going to continue, Mr. Wilde?"

"You know what, I think I'm actually just going to quit while I'm behind."

"Good idea."

 _...It was all done by Yax! That's all there is to it!_

 **Hold it!**

"There's still no clear evidence that Yax did it, aside from those hoofprints that I've already proven could have been faked!"

"That's just a theory! A _lame_ theory! Maybe instead of trying to overcomplicate everything, the murder really was just as simple as it looks! Face it, a guy getting high on illegal drugs and offing someone is about as basic as you can get!" Flash stopped dancing for just a moment to give Nick what could only be described as a complete mockery of his own finger point. "So I hereby declare the defendant guilty! GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!"

"Actually, I'm the one who's supposed to say that," Clawhauser noted.

"Then hurry up and say it! Unless of course, the defense has anything _else_ to scream **Hold it!** about! Come on, Nicky Boy, bring it on!"

But he couldn't. Nick slumped over on the bench, head low, ears drooped, and shaking ever so slightly. _(He's right. I don't have a lead, I don't even have a LEAD to a lead. I've got nothing...nothing at all.)_

"Nick?" He only vaguely registered Finnick reaching up to grab his shoulder in a rare show of comfort. "You...you've got something else to present, right? An objection to hurl out?"

Nick couldn't even look at him. "It's over, Finn. My entire case hinged on Flash having his keys on him that night. If he couldn't get to the scene of the crime, that's it. There's nothing more I can do."

"Wha...hey, come on! Snap out of it! After what we've been through back on the streets, you can't lose to this punk!"

"Don't bother!" Flash mocked. "No matter how many reps we go through, you're never going to top me!" He lifted another cup of coffee high before drinking it down. "A toast...to your failure!"

The gallery wasted no time in twisting the knife even further.

"Wait, so that aerobics guy really IS innocent?"

"Of course! There's no way that nutjob fox was actually right!"

"Yeah, his kind probably just makes up evidence as he goes along!"

"I can't believe he even managed to pass the bar exam. He must have cheated!"

"You shut your filthy mouths!" Finnick roared. "Nick Wilde is more noble and honest than ANY of you!"

Clawhauser slammed his gavel loudly to silence them, with some difficulty. "Be that as it may...this trial does appear to have come to a close. Do you have anything else to add, Mr. Wilde?"

 **Objection!**

The cheetah blinked in surprise, rubbing his eyes to make sure he was really seeing this. "P-Prosecutor Hopps? _You_ have an objection about the case?"

"No, Your Honor…" she said darkly. "It's the defense I object to. Mr. Wilde, is this really all you're capable of?"

The fox was just as stunned. "Huh?"

"You heard me. You've come this far, pushed me to my absolute limits, even...made me rethink a few things." She looked away for a second, but only a second. "And after all that, you're just going to throw in the towel? Unacceptable!" She slammed her desk with more force than he'd heard yet. "As a defense attorney, it is your job to stand up for your client! So you fight to the bitter end or so help me-!"

 **Hold it!**

"What do you think you're doing?!" Flash was boiling with rage, and the coffee he held boiled right along with him. "Just whose side do you think you're on here?!"

"This isn't about sides," she answered. "It may not matter what I want...but what I want is to make the world a better place."

"That was a very nice speech, but it doesn't change a thing! If you guys don't have anything on me, then I'm outta here!" He gulped down his last bit of coffee and waved at the crowd. "Sorry, folks, but you'll have to catch my next show on DVD! Toodles!"

 **Objection!**

"You're not going anywhere!" Nick pointed with passion. "Not while I've got anything to say about it!"

"Ha, that's more like it!" Finnick cheered.

Judy tried to hide a smile. "Hmph...took you long enough."

 _(What am I doing getting bent out of shape now? So what if I was wrong? If even Prosecutor Hopps believes in me, then I can't afford to lose! I have to show her...what being a defense attorney is really about!)_

What happened next was a sensation Nick had never been able to explain. It was like everything around him just vanished into a white haze, until all that was left was him and his logic. It was time to solve this case for good.

 _Okay, let's take a look at everything from the beginning. Flash has proven, quite thoroughly, that he couldn't have gotten into the crime scene. But if he was so willing to lie about that in the first place, there must be a reason. Maybe...because he had another way._

 _Is there any other way Flash could have committed the murder?_

 **Flash was already on scene**

 _Yes, there was no need to sneak into the crime scene if he simply never left it in the first place. That must be what he's been trying to keep from us all this time. Even so, he would've been kicked out unless he found some way to hide himself. And it had to be a point when no one would be watching him._

 _Did he have any opportunity to hide on the premises?_

 **The building had been evacuated**

 _Due to the burst pipe, Mystic Spring Oasis had evacuated everyone from the building. It was at this point that the killer stole the Mystic Mojo and enacted the first part of his murder plot, but maybe that's not all he did._

 _Wait, Mystic Mojo...that reminds me, there IS a place he could have hidden himself!_

 **Flash hid in the mud pit**

 _Of course, the mud pit that Bellwether hid her stash in. That's more than large enough for a sloth to hide too, especially when they move so little anyway. Urgh, but that's still just conjecture. If I'm going to win this, I need proof!_

 _Yax is the only one who could tell us what the killer was like that night. Is there anything he said that could help me out?_

 **The killer was wet**

 _According to Yax, the one who grabbed him was soaking wet. If Flash really had covered himself in mud, then he would have needed to wash it off before he could leave. And if he was really using the same mindset as Bellwether...then there's something we've all been overlooking from the very beginning!_

With the violent surge of an epiphany, Nick's logic and evidence finally came together into one, crucial conclusion.

 **The mud in the pool came from Flash**

 _That's it! We thought all of that mud came from Bellwether's meddling, but Flash washed himself off in that same place! And with that...I can finally prove that he killed Nangi!_

Just as suddenly as it began, it was over. Nick found himself back in the courtroom like nothing ever happened.

And to those around him, nothing had. "Yo, Nick! Earth to Nick!" Finnick snapped his fingers repeatedly in front of his face. "I hate it when he does this."

 **Objection!**

"GAH! We heard you the first time!"

"Maybe, but now I've got some merit behind it," Nick said, shooting his trademark smirk. "Flash, Flash, Hundred-Yard Dash...you done screwed up."

"All of that waiting for another bluff?!" he laughed, shaking his head. "Come on, either hit me with some evidence or shut up already!"

"I can do better than that. I'll tell you the story of _exactly_ how you killed Nangi, from beginning to end. It even has some interesting footnotes."

"H-Hey, you're totally avoiding my question here!"

"I'll allow it," Judy said. "But this is your last chance, Mr. Wilde, so it had better be good."

 _(What happened to all that encouragement?)_ "The day of the murder, our witness here had just been fired from his position as aerobics instructor. Dark thoughts began to form in his head, but they might never have come to fruition if not for a stroke of fate. BOOM! Suddenly, a pipe bursts in the peaceful Mystic Spring! The building is evacuated, creating the perfect scenario for our culprit to plot his revenge."

"Your storytelling skills are adequate, but when are you going to tell us something new?" Judy asked impatiently.

"Just building up suspense. Gotta set the scene, you know."

"Mmmm, anyone with a theater degree could tell you that," Clawhauser agreed, happily chewing on some donuts like they were popcorn. "Not that...I have one of those…"

"The first thing he did was swipe the storeroom key from Ms. Bellwether," Nick continued. "With that, he broke into the storeroom and stole some of her stash of Mystic Mojo. However, in his haste, he made one crucial mistake. He forgot to lock the door again, which is how Yax was later able to open it. He then moved into the lobby, where he switched out Yax's usual incense with the Mystic Mojo variety, then swiped the stamp used to mark his letter of termination, intending to frame him for the murder."

"Bah! This is the same crap you've been spouting this whole time!" Flash snarled. "I already told you, I left my keys with Yax before that stupid pipe even broke! I couldn't have done _any_ of this!"

"Oh yes you could, thanks to one little detail you've been trying to conceal from us...about how you concealed _yourself._ "

Judy paused, the meaningful kind. "I'm listening."

He kept going, not wanting to keep his audience waiting. Even if she _was_ all ears. "After Flash was done with the first stage of his plan, he took the time to hide within the one place we know even the ZPD didn't check: the mud pit. In doing so, he effectively disappeared from the crime scene, as anyone else would assume he had simply left for the day. Having just been canned and all."

"Urk!" The sloth was suddenly a lot less smug, and gulped down another cup of coffee to avoid responding.

"Interesting indeed," Judy nodded. She sounded neutral, but he knew she was hoping for an explanation. "And how do you intend to prove this?"

"Simple. How did Bellwether hide her involvement when _she_ was on the stand?"

"You mean…?"

"From his place under the mud, Flash watched and waited as Nangi held her evening class and then retired for the night, then Yax made his usual rounds and prepared for guard duty. During this time, his stimulant had long worn off, but that didn't matter now. Soon enough, Yax entered the lobby and Nangi entered the pool, both about to become victims in his plot."

Clawhauser was still snacking away. "Mr. Wilde sure does know how to spin a yarn. Bailiff, fetch me some yarn!"

"After the trial, Your Honor."

"Awwwwww."

"Once Nangi entered her trance, her fate was sealed. Flash emerged from his hiding place, wiped his feet off on the grass, then headed over to where he had observed the renovations taking place. There, he used the stamp to implicate Yax for the crime, then poured Mystic Mojo into the open pipeline. By the time he grabbed the sledgehammer and approached the Pleasure Pool, Nangi was most likely dead already, which made it all too easy to walk right up behind her and THWACK, inflict that gaping wound on her head. All while leaving a convenient concrete trail behind, I might add. He then slipped the hammer into the water, handle first. The true purpose of this odd placement? To wash away the mud prints he had no doubt left on it. And then, to top it all off, Flash himself jumped into the Pleasure Pool, which is where all that excess mud came from in the first place. Only in there for just a moment, and covered in a thick expanse of fur, he suffered no ill effects."

"Huh." Finnick clicked his tongue approvingly. "I don't know how you do this sometimes, but when you put a case together, _you put it together_. Now let's wrap up this case _and_ this sloth, Nick!"

"Afterwards, it was just a matter of tying up loose ends. He made sure to lock the storeroom this time, then went back to the lobby, grabbed Yax, and dragged him out to the pool to complete his frame job. Then he simply walked out the front door, locking it behind him. _That_ is the true story of what happened that night at Mystic Spring Oasis."

Nick gasped, leaning over the bench as he tried to catch his breath. _(Never...going on...that long...again!)_

The whole courtroom was silent for several long moments, until…

 **Hold it!**

"That's a lie! A sham! All of it!" Flash's demeanor did not match his words. The sloth was chugging down cup after cup in quick succession, to the point that he now appeared to be literally _sweating_ coffee. "You already checked that stupid pool and found nothing to link it to me! And even if you did, it wouldn't matter! I'm still a resident of the club! I use it all the time! Nothing in that water is going to pin me as a killer!"

"I agree," Nick said, far too smugly for his liking. "It's not the water that I want to examine. I've got something even better."

"W-W-WHAT?! You're b-bluffing! Y-You have to be!"

"Not this time." And with a deep breath, he knew he had finally won. _(Enjoy your freedom, Yax. It sure didn't come easy.)_ "The evidence that will exercise the end of your exercise is this!"

 **Take that!**

"YOU, Flash! Even if it was for the briefest of moments, you shared a bath with the victim. I wonder what interesting things we would find in your fur if we put it under a microscope. Nangi's blood? Mystic Mojo? Concrete residue from that sledgehammer? Any of those things would be pretty decisive, don't you think, Carrots?"

"While I still object to that nickname," she answered, an unfamiliar warm smile crossing her face, "I do not to your reasoning."

Flash was somehow downing it even faster. "NONONONONONONONONONO!"

"Drink all the coffee you want, Flash." Nick twisted his whole body, pulling his arm back, then extending it firmly outwards, clawed finger pointed directly at the culprit. "Because no amount of fast-talking is gonna get you out of this one!"

All eyes were on the stuttering sloth now. "Ah...ah...ah...ahhhhhhhhh!" Quick as a him, Flash grabbed the entire pot and ripped off the lid, downing every last drop right in front of them.

After that, he more or less exploded. Flash shifted rapidly between his entire repertoire, going from jumping jacks, to cardio, to stretches, to sit-ups, even squat thrusts, not slowing down for a second. "DoyouhaveanyideahowharditistobeaslothallIwantedwastogetoutofthestinkingdmvunlikeeverysingleoneofmypeerstoactuallymakeanameformyselfassomethingotherthanjustanotherslowpokeslothIevenfoundthisnewcoffeeblendtocompensateformyweaknessbutnoNangiwouldn'thaveitIjustwasn'tgoodenoughforherandherridicolousideasofbeingnaturalwellnaturalsucksI'dratherjustgetsomerespectforonceinmylifeinsteadofbeingtoldbyeveryfreakingmammalinZootopiathatI'mtooslowtooslowtooslowtooslowTOOSLOW!"

It ended abruptly, like a record popping off of its needle. Flash swayed back and forth, growing slower by the second. "...It's….not…...faaaaaaaaaaaaaair…" Finally, he fell back and collapsed to the ground, out cold.

Nick sighed, shaking his head in pity. "Caffeine burnout. Happens to the best of us."

The courtroom gradually settled down, awed that the Wilde Guess had once again pulled a victory out of his bushy behind. One day, perhaps they would know better.

As Yax was brought back to the stand and Flash dragged out, Clawhauser cleared his throat. The bovine had been put back into his suit by force, still clearly torn in many places, but good enough for the time being. "I am now ready to hand down my verdict. Does anyone else have an objection? Just...gotta make sure."

His wandering eyes poorly hid the fact that he was talking mainly to Judy. If anything, she actually looked pleased. "No, Your Honor. Please proceed."

"Then on the charge of murder, the court hereby finds the defendant, Mr. Yaxley Matton…"

 **NOT GUILTY**

Despite mixed opinions on the defense, the entire courtroom erupted into cheers, confetti raining down onto Yax's head from some unknown location. That was one mystery Nick wasn't sure he'd ever solve.

But for now, he was content to just share a fist-bump with Finnick. "Who's awesome?"

The smaller fox chuckled and returned the gesture. "We're awesome."

* * *

 _5: 46 PM_

 _Zootopian Central Courthouse - Defendant Lobby No. 3_

In complete contrast to how they entered, the trio of Nick, Finnick, and Yax exited the courtroom with high spirits and loud voices. Not that Finnick wasn't usually loud anyway. "Oh yeah! We rocked the _heck_ outta that trial!"

 _(He's always so confident AFTER we win.)_ "Sure did. Guess all's well that ends well."

"Well, except for that public indecency charge Yax earned for his stunt on the witness stand."

The bovine shrugged it off. "Not the first time and it won't be the last. I'm a free spirit, man."

"As long as it doesn't get you accused of murder again, I don't mind," Nick said. "Much as I like you, I don't think I could take the stress a second time."

"You got it!" he replied, with the same, whimsical innocence that made Nick doubt he had even understood him.

"Forget about all that," Finnick laughed, "I say we blow this courtroom and go celebrate! Bug Burgas for everyone!"

"The thing is, I'm kinda more of a plant eater..." Yax started.

"Don't knock it till you try it! You're a free spirit, right?"

Nick smiled. "Now you're talking, Finn." _(Though I fully expect to be the one paying for them.)_

"Wilde!"

He flinched. "Might want to hold off on the celebrations for a bit."

For all of his experience dealing with her so far, Nick couldn't tell if Judy was hopping mad or simply trying to get his attention. Finnick certainly seemed to assume the former, trying to make some kind of defensive perimeter around him, while Yax was _still_ nothing but smiles. The bunny stopped just short of them, her nerve slowly evaporating like she had suddenly lost the will to speak.

Nick was quick to offer his assistance. "Fox got your tongue, Carrots?"

"Shut up, you...fox...guy." She needed a moment. "Look, I just wanted to make one thing clear. Despite what may have happened today, I am _not_ on your side. I am on the side of truth and justice, and that's simply where my interests fell in the end."

"Good to know." He leaned down to her level, almost condescendingly if he weren't such a gentlemammal. "But you should probably know, that _is_ my side. We both want the same thing in the end, even if we happen to stand on opposite ends of the courtroom. So even if you didn't get your guilty verdict, can you really say that you lost?"

She needed another moment. "No...I suppose I cannot. Perhaps that's why this turn of events feels so strange to me. I've suffered my first defeat in court, yet feel more fulfilled than I have in a long time. It's...disturbing."

Though not as disturbing as Yax wrapping all three of them up into a hug. "Nah, that's just your spiritual energies emerging from within. You gotta embrace that feeling!"

With several low-powered kicks to the gut, Judy freed herself, struggling to straighten out her mussed outfit. "Ugh...I will keep that in mind."

While Finnick looked ready to maul their newly-freed client, Nick remained focused on the rabbit. "Hey, if you're ever thinking of a career change, the Wilde Crimes Law Offices are always open."

"With all due respect, not a chance." Though her tone was more amused than annoyed. "For now, I will continue on the path I have chosen as a prosecutor. What that means for me is something I'll have to figure out for myself."

A familiar clopping suddenly approached. "Looks like someone's become the dark horse once again. Then does that make you no longer the dark horse? A question for the ages."

He forced a smile. "Detective Oates. A...pleasure to see you again." _(He couldn't just STAY at the stable? Crime scene, whatever.)_

The stallion nodded at him, a blend of disappointment that he'd been bested and genuine respect for a battle well fought. As per usual. "Ms. Hopps, we need to take care of the post-trial paperwork. It's not over till' the fat lady signs the check."

"Very well." She turned her back to the fox in a heartbeat. "I have no doubt we'll cross paths again. Despite my perfectly intact feet, I'm not that lucky. Until then...I'll see you around, Nick."

With one final wave, Prosecutor Judy Hopps left with Oates, not waiting for a response. _(Hey, a first name basis is progress, right?)_

Finding this more interesting than mauling Yax, Finnick sidled up beside him. "Didn't bring up how you snooped into her personal life, huh?"

"Never anger a lady any more than necessary. That's one of my rules."

"Based on what I've seen so far, I _highly_ doubt that. Now let's hit the road already. There's a baker's dozen of Bug Burgas with your name on it."

"I _knew_ you were making me pay for them!"

 _And so ended the case at Mystic Spring Oasis. Honoring my request, Yax never got himself in trouble with the law again. At least...not to THAT level. Finnick and I returned to our barely-paying jobs at Wilde Crimes, waiting for the next big, convoluted mystery to fall into our laps. As for Prosecutor Hopps, I too had no doubt that I would one day face her in court again. When that day comes, I hope she'll truly be able to define the law on her own terms._

 _To bad that's never going to happen because I am SO done with this!_

 _H-Hey, what are you doing in there-sir, you can't just yank it off like that!_

 _Watch me!_

 _Just wait for it to finish!_

 _What, so I can play the sequel? I've had enough!_

With far less grace than usual, the world of PIXAR evaporated around them, a loud beeping jarring them awake. Nick pulled off the helmet, which had gone full blue screen, and shook his head in an attempt to clear this latest experience from it.

"I really wish you hadn't done that…" Fitwick muttered, looking over the multitude of error messages now popping up on PIXAR's readout. "I'm not even sure _how_ you did that. It's supposed to be a completely immersive experience from start to finish."

"Guess that's one contradiction that will forever remain unsolved."

"Uggggh…" Judy had a bit more trouble readjusting. "What happened? I was just about to come to some kind of epiphany about myself...I think."

"Office Wilde broke the simulation," the panther said.

"He did what?!"

"I wouldn't exactly call it 'fixed' to begin with," Nick replied. "I may not know much about the legal system, but I am at least...90% sure that is not what being a lawyer is like."

"There _were_ a number of inaccuracies," Judy admitted. "I mean, why was everything so biased towards the prosecution?"

"Why did everyone scream so much?"

"Why did the witnesses get to keep testifying after repeatedly committing perjury?"

"Where did all those random objects come from and where did they go?"

"Why did _I_ get to keep prosecuting after repeatedly concealing evidence?"

"Who would ever trust Clawhauser with a gavel?"

"Hey, I didn't program this one!" Fitwick said defensively. "It was some quirky intern from overseas, Shu...Tanuki or something. I don't know why he made it that way."

Judy finally got out of the seat and stretched out. "Well I had fun, despite all that. I don't get why you're so bent out of shape about it, Nick. You even won the case. Are you _that_ distraught about actually making a good lawyer?"

"It's not that," he sighed, feeling silly just for bringing this up. "But while we were in there, I found out what big, dramatic event it took to turn Nick Wilde, future con-artist and all-around scoundrel, into a lawyer. And guess what? Apparently, all it took was someone standing up for me back in the Ranger Scouts. Could it really have been _that_ easy? Even if I didn't become a lawyer, I would've taken just about anything to avoid wasting twenty years of my life on the streets."

The bunny helped him out of the chair, a comforting paw on his shoulder. "That event shaped who you were, for better or for worse. There's no use worrying about what could have been."

"Like with you and Gideon Grey?"

She bit her lip. "You saw that, huh? It wasn't easy for me either suddenly having those memories, and I can't deny it as a possibility if things actually happened like that, but...I think I prefer _this_ reality." She wrapped him up in a dangerously affectionate hug. "Don't you?"

"We might not be in court anymore, but I know a loaded question when I see one," he chuckled. "Alright, alright, it was worth it. Mostly." She punched him in the arm. "Ow! Even that. But if Flash ever mentions wanting a job at Mystic Spring, I'm going to try _really_ hard to discourage him."

In the midst of making repairs to PIXAR, Fitwick couldn't help but overhear. "Guess I need to add another warning to the ToS: may cause an existential crisis..."

A sudden call on the radio ensured it would go no further. Chief Bogo's voice boomed out of the speaker. " _Hopps, Wilde, I need you both back at the precinct on the double! Rosco the Rascal is back in custody and we need each of you to fill out statements!"_

Nick blinked. "Huh?

" _Also, there's a fresh mound of paperwork that needs your urgent attention. I'd say around...400 documents. Each."_

Even Judy was taken aback. "Huh? Huh?"

" _And due to budget constraints, I'm putting you both back on parking duty for the time being. You're still my best ticketers out there."_

They were both floored. "Huh? Huh? Huh?"

Suddenly, a smirk passed across Nick's muzzle, the kind of smirk that Judy knew meant serious trouble. "Nick, _don't."_

"Come on, you know you wanna…"

"I...I couldn't…"

"We'll never get this chance again."

"...Alright, but just this once."

"Deal."

In unison, the two officers brought the radio up to their mouths and yelled…

 **Objection!**

* * *

 _This has been "Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney", one of the most fun writing projects I've ever taken on, albeit at the expense of my actual ongoing fics. But I'd certainly say it was worth it, with reactions to the cover image alone ranging from "this looks cool" to "you'd better write this, you jerk". How could I resist?_

 _Just to answer this question right from the getgo, no, I am not planning on a sequel to this at the moment. However, I AM currently working with my co-author Mind Jack on another Zootopia/Ace Attorney crossover: Badge & O'Possum, Ace Attorneys, starring our own cast of lawyers, crooks, and other NPC's. And if you're just looking for this style of oddball humor and quirky characters, our main fic "Born to Be Wilde" is chock full of that. _

_Shameless self-promotion aside, I would like to extend a big thanks to all of you for reading through this surreal adventure, to Mind Jack for all of his input, and of course, to Cimar for giving me this opportunity in the first place (and for putting up with me repeatedly breaking the word limit guidelines). Now to check out that crossover fangame I've been avoiding like the plague while writing this. See ya around, guys! :D_

 _~Berserker88_


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